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Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by athena02, Oct 30, 2014.

  1. athena02

    athena02 Member

    Hi everyone. Being new here, I figured I'd share my own story.

    Not exactly my own story actually, but rather my father's. Skipping the details, he got into gambling shortly after I was born, which was bad enough until he eventually got into drinking. Started out slowly, with him getting home dead drunk like twice a month, until it started happening every couple of days.

    Eventually, by the time I turned 10 my mother got tired of it all and the verbal violence and they divorced. He visited me for a while after this, but soon enough stopped. I tried getting in touch with him a few times after I turned 18, but these encounters never went too well.

    So here I am today. Haven't seen or spoken to him in over two years.
  2. TheKid

    TheKid Active Contributor

    Hay there and welcome!
    I found this site a little while ago and I really love it here, everyone is very helpful and quick to answer any questions. I am sorry to hear about this story of yours, I can't even begin to tell you how many families I've seen alcohol destroy. Just hang in there and good luck!
  3. Juan

    Juan Active Contributor

    Hello, athena02

    I'm sorry to hear about your story. From what I can gather, at some point in your life two years ago, either you or your father decided to stop getting in touch with each other. A decision like this usually will affect your life, and in some cases leave a feeling of emptiness. If that's your case, there are many ways to deal with this. Please make sure it doesn't evolve into something more serious or destructive.

    Also, and I know you're just sharing and not necessarily asking for advice, if your dad ever seeks your support in order to overcome his addiction, don't cast him aside. When people find themselves at the bottom, and start seeking for help, they usually turn first to family and friends. If they don't get sympathy from them, they might decide that it's not worth seeking for help and end up being consumed by their addictions.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I hope everything's going well.
  4. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    Welcome my dear and I hope you will feel at home. I am in a similar situation, my dad is addicted to cocaine and I have not spoken to him over a year because he keeps pushing me away. I am still trying but time will heal the wounds, so just bear in your mind that you can only do so much.
  5. jackslivi

    jackslivi Active Contributor

    I am so sorry. That has to be really hard to go through. I hope you do not blame yourself for him not ever making the effort. From the sounds of it, you aren't but I am just making sure that you do not start. My dad never makes the effort and I have a son. He is a porn addict and well I really don't want my son to be around that. Hang in there kiddo because he will regret it one day. I hope your mom is doing better now that he isn't around. I am sure you guys are sad but at least you have each other. We are here for you.
  6. sillylab

    sillylab Member

    That sounds awful :( I know what it's like to not have a relationship with your father so I truly feel for you.

    It's pretty sad what alcohol can do to peoples lives, and unfortunately most people don't realize it affects more than just the person who's drinking.
  7. frogsandlegos

    frogsandlegos Active Contributor

    Thanks for sharing your story, and I am sorry you went through that :( I do want to say kudos to you for making an effort to get in touch with him and have a relationship with him. You sound like a very kind, forgiving and loving person. I'm sorry it did not go well but you did everything you could.

    Have you ever considered speaking to a counselor about this? It might be worth it.
  8. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through. Stories like these are really disheartening, especially because it involves families being ripped apart because of alcohol. However, be strong. You were given these challenges because you have the strength to handle it. Just hang in there, we're here if you need someone to talk to.
  9. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Sorry to hear this babygirl. My dad used to drink a lot when I was a little girl, and it used to make me so angry.
    It is hard when our parents don't seem to respond to us in the way that we think they should.
    I'm older than you and I still have issues with my dad, and those issues hurt.

    Hang in there, be gentle to yourself. Try to think about things that you can do to help yourself feel better about certain things.
    Do you journal? In my particular case, it always helps to write certain things out.
  10. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Hello! It's sad to hear this, no kid should grown up without a father. My father use to drink a lot, I know how it is, hang on there, it's not your fault. You shouldn't be sad because of the decisions other made, it isn't your fault after all.
  11. jurew2

    jurew2 Member

    I'm sorry to hear that, it's sad how alcohol or any other addiction can destroy families. I know a friend that went through this like you, so I kind of know how you feel, not in the deatail though. I hope you find all the help you need in this forum.
  12. George T.

    George T. Member

    I hope you reach out to him. He's an alcoholic with a gambling addiction, but he's also you dad. We all need to know our families, even the ones with problems.