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Help getting clean

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by Northwoods, Jul 24, 2019.

  1. Northwoods

    Northwoods Member

    Hello everyone,

    I have been addicted off and on to oxycodone for the past 6 years. I got clean back in March of 2017 and remained clean until January of this year. Now I have been drawn back into the hell of abusing pills. No one in my family knows of my struggle, not my wife, my parents, my brother, or friends. I guess I have done a good job of keeping it hidden from all the important people in my life. I want more than anything to get clean. The last time I did it with no rehab, no counseling, no treatment. I went cold turkey, got myself off of the stuff and was happy with myself. Now I have found myself back into using 100 mgs at a time. I am on day 4 today and experiencing the hells of withdrawal. I needed to talk to someone so I researched drug forums. The anxiety and no sleep is what kills me, along with the shame an embarrassment of knowing I am secretly letting everyone that means something to me in my life down. Any help and encouraging words are appreciated.
    Joshstillclean, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  2. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    Hi welcome to the forum we are glad your here. I know the withdrawl from oxy all too well as I was up to 240mgs a day.

    Proud of you for making it to day 4 that's awesome you seem like you have a strong willpower. It's been very therapeutic to help and encourage people.

    Do you have anything to help with the anxiety that's what I found to be most debilitating for me too.

    I'm on day 75 free from opiates you can do it too!
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  3. Northwoods

    Northwoods Member

    I can't seem to find anything that cures the anxiety. I have tried everything from healthy diet to vitamin supplements to drinking as much water as I can choke down throughout the day (Any tips would be greatly appreciated). I have went through these withdrawals once a month since January. When the person I get the pills from runs out, I will experience the withdrawal hell, say to myself I am never doing this again, get clean for 7-8 days, and find myself right back into the circle again. I feel determined more than ever to beat it this time. I am tired of the vicious circle. I am going to do this.
    Joshstillclean and Dominica like this.
  4. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    Do you have access to a medicine called Gabapentin. It would squash most of your symptoms the restless legs and hot flashes and anxiety. It's a very safe and easy to get prescribed medicine it's not a narcotic it's a anticonvulsant and works wonders to help curb withdrawl symptoms.
    Dominica likes this.
  5. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    They also prescribe it for mood disorders it works in a way that could be compared to benzo like xanax but no where as addicting or strong . They all work on our Gaba system that controls most of our anxiety.
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  6. Northwoods

    Northwoods Member

    I would assume I would need to make an appointment with my family doctor and explain my addiction problem to him. I just don't know if I am ready to go down that road yet. I know that sounds selfish :(.
  7. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    Possibly try CBD oil if you can as well it can help regulate our homeostasis process and help with anxiety.
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  8. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    I can understand that. I know how that feels I tried several times to quit on my own it was very tuff.

    Try to stay away from caffeine as it can raise glutamate an excitatory neurotransmitter that increases anxiety. You will want to try to take calming things.
  9. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

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  10. Northwoods

    Northwoods Member

    I just read your link. I am going to try loading my diet with those food items. Thank you very much for your support and help.
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  11. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    No problem at all my friend glad I could share some knowledge. please come back and tell us how your doing. We dont judge good or bad. Good luck in your journey.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Northwoods... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear about your oxycodone addiction, but I'm really glad you found us and reached out. And I'm proud of you for being clean for 4 days. That's terrific.

    I think @Onceaddicted77 has given you some great advice. I hope your anxiety and sleep issues start to dissipate soon. Also, I'm wondering if some of your anxiety could be attributed to the fact that you're keeping your experience a secret from people close to you. Living with that can't be easy. Did anyone in your family know about your previous addiction (prior to your getting clean in March of 2017)? Just curious. I've always been a big believer in being completely honest with the ones we love; I think sharing your issue with others might actually help you. Family can be very supportive and helpful. But I totally respect your decision if that's not what you want to do.

    We're here to help, support, and listen, so feel free to reach out and lean on us anytime you feel the need. Like @Onceaddicted77 said, there's no judgment here. Keep doing the next right thing, my friend. I know you can find long-term sobriety again.
  13. Northwoods

    Northwoods Member

    @deanokat the first time was kept a secret as well. No one knew, I played the with withdrawal off as being sick. No one ever questioned it. I got clean the first time on my own with no help or treatment. Just plain old cold turkey. I dealt with the withdrawal until it passed. I am hoping I can do it again, I am struggling with the guilt and anxiety which is why I came here. I just don't think I can face my family with my problem yet. I want to try to beat it on my own again.

    I got into this whole situation again when I was at a Christmas party and overheard a friend of mine talking about the pills. I stupidly inquired about them and that is what got me back into this terrible situation.
  14. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Northwoods hello and welcome. so glad you found us and that you want to get off the pills. congrats on 4 days... yeah, getting past that week or two week mark... can be challenging, but you've proven in the past you CAN do it.

    if you need to see the dr., just know it's an option. it's not selfish not wanting; it's ego. pride. i think we can all relate to those feelings at times... humility is courageous and badass... from my experience. but... your terms... you may find a natural way to deal with that anxiety.

    some say cbd oil helps.. there are so many types and such... so not sure about all that. keep trying various things. i too understand anxiety... it can surely be something...

    know that we are here... come as often as you want!!
  15. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Northwoods also want to mention addiction specialist... just in case you'd want to do a little digging to see if there is something under the surface going on. anxiety...depression...past trauma... etc. a counselor can be so helpful in life!! :) no shame in going either. i wish it was mandatory at different ages in life ;)
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  16. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

  17. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    Thank you so much I love coming here hopefully helping people and reading about life experiences you guys have helped more than you know. It's nice having a place where we can all relate.
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  18. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Opioid addict here myself. Have a little while under my belt. But I remember all too well what your talking about. That cycle of being forced into withdrawal. Then going right back.
    I know your ashamed. I get that too. I know that for me it was pride that kept me from telling my family. Me personally I'm talking about. And I kept my addiction secret until I started to use heroin because I got tired of script hunting and the price. So I was a closet user for about 6 or 7 years.
    Around there. It really wasn't until I came clean about how I felt inside that I was able to get clean outside. By that i mean I did a lot of fessing up, and to my surprise as much of a disappointment as I had been, this last go round I had a huge support system in place. And if not for that my secret would have killed me by now.
    And my sister actually had known for years. She had already told my dad. So it actually wasn't as much of a secret as I thought.
    I know if you are able to,give clean about this, with someone, you will feel better and have someone to hold you accountable. We humans are pretty self destructive when left to our own devices.
  19. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Almost to the triple digits!
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  20. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Moderator Community Listener

    25 more days! I cant believe it.
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