Hello I don't know what to do anymore. I am struggling with partying too much and doing far too much cocaine. I don't see it as an addiction but perhaps it is. I have a very good job and I am a keen runner. However I like to let my hair down on the weekend, too much. My Husband buys loads, I mean loads so it's always here in the house. We've argued over it for 7 years now and he simply won't listen. I beg and cry and ask him can we slow down but it never happens. We've had two 40th Birthdays the last two weekends so of course we drank and took a lot of cocaine. This weekend was meant to be chilled, I was so looking forward it to it but I had a drink and then he suggested do a few lines.... I could say no but I am weak after a drink. I have woke up this morning feeling so upset that we've done it again. I am anxious and know it will take me days to get over. It effects my work, my mood, my running and everything really. I've asked again this morning can we slow down (whilst in tears) but all I get it 'just don't do it then'. He'll just keep buying more because that's what he wants to do as its his vice (he's not a big drinker). I always say can't we just do it on special occasions but I get told I can't pick and choose.... I don't know what to do anymore. It's killing our marriage because I can't be a good wife when I feel like this most weekends. I've been doing it for so long now I feel I can't go out and socolise without it. Surely that's not right? My Husband doesn't think that's an issue. His words are 'people can't go out without drinking either'. I'm 38, nearly 39 and feel like I'm killing myself. I've tried to talk to his Sister about it and ask for her to get him to slow down but she didn't want to know... she is his Brother and she took his side. I could talk to friends but I'm embarrassed. We have friends that also do it so I'm trying to stay away but how can I stay away from my Husband? He won't listen.... I just don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy and just want a different life.