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Help,Please talk to me

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Knightem01, Feb 24, 2018.

  1. Knightem01

    Knightem01 Member

    I can’t do this anymore. I’m scared to tell my family, I think they would never speak to me again. I have a daughter, 15 months. I have a serious Cocaine addiction and I just had an awful 2 day binge. I don’t want to be this kind of mother, I never was.

    When I pregnant her father started using cocaine while working 2 jobs. I started using a few weeks after my delivery. It’s escalated from a half g a week to a 2 day binge. I would stop for 2 weeks and then my daughters father would bring it around again.

    I just today realized I am choosing cocaine over my daughter. And I’m disgusted in myself. I want to stop now. Eveeytime I confront my boyfriend about how serious our cocaine addiction is, he says We can stop it alone with no treatments. But he never follows through. I told him today I wanted to tell my mother what’s going on and I need her support and help to get through this battle. He got very angry and scared. He doesn’t want me to tell anyone because he doesn’t want our daughter taken away. We love our daughter, I love her and I’m scared one day (if I continue) I’ll overdose. I don’t want to loose my baby. We always make sure she has everything she needs plus more. Then we spend on cocaine. She’s a happy baby, fed clothed bathed. I feel like a shitty parent for my addiction.

    I don’t know where to go, who to talk to. I want to hear from other mothers who struggled with cocaine addiction. I’m scared to loose my baby if I check into rehab. But I know I will never stop if I don’t seek sobriety. Please don’t bash me, I need guidance and support. I have no one to talk to.
    Lostboy8731 and Dominica like this.
  2. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    Hey sorry to hear your struggling this way. I hope youve started to think of an action plan. Very proud of you for making the choice to quit for your daughter. I am however puzzled that your partner will not let you reach out to family for help. Im sorry to say but that to me would be hindering my recovery and put my childs future at risk. I hope you get this figured out and please keep in touch. Prayers and blessings
    True concern and deanokat like this.