Hello, my name is Erica and I am the daughter of drug addict! Growing up my mom was addicted to Rx medications. I didn't have the "normal" childhood, which has carried over into my adult life. My mom died in August from a drug overdose... I carry a ton of guilt! We were not on speaking terms and I hadn't spoken to her in months. She called and texted often and I never responded. I have a ton of "what if's" but I'm dealing well. The second part of my story is what is really killing me... I am engaged to a drug addict, a Rx drug addict! We med about 2 months after my divorce and I fell hard! He was the nicest man ever! We talked about everything and I was the first person who he has ever opened up to about the things that had happened to him as a child and he made a choice to get off probation, and off of pills and went to jail for 90 days! We talked for hours a day while he was in jail and I never missed a visitation day! We were strong and happy despite the jail thing! It took maybe 30 days after he got out for him to jump fully back into his pill addiction. We have now been together for almost 2 years, my kids love him and we have our own home and things are about 75% better with his drug use! He is paying bills and has a home for the first time in his life! I however an struggling, bad! He has been on perc 30's for the last 10 years and while he isn't doing 5 a day he slips ever week when he gets his paycheck! I have given him a choice, me or the pills! Now instead of being glad that he is not really doing the pills I'm nervous and just keep waiting on him to mess up and having to start all over... I keep finding myself picking fights and being mean because I just know it's coming and maybe it'll hurt less if I prepare myself for the failure which will happen if I keep this up! I really just don't know what to do!!!! I am emotionally drained and can't keep up the everything is ok act!