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Help!!!

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Lexima, Jul 5, 2016.

  1. Lexima

    Lexima Member

    Hello,
    I met my husband 13 years ago. We were together for 6 years and had a babygirl when we split because of his heroin use. I didnt know how to deal with it so I left him. After 5 years he was clean and we tried things again. Everything was wonderful. We had another babygirl got married and bought a home. A week before our wedding I found out he had done heroin AGAIN. This time I tried to deal with it differently. As broken and betrayed I felt inside I asked to trust me and that Id help him get help. He seemed to be telling me the truth. Just today I walked in on him smoking crystal meth out of a pipe. I dont know much about drugs so hes been lying to me again. Im now pregnant AGAIN and I hate to put all this on me while pregnant but still want to help him. HELP!!!!!!!!!!
  2. Jamiew72

    Jamiew72 Member

    I dont know what to say i lied to mu wife about doing drugs she trusted me fully. Now i feel like i betrayed her trust i can only say im sorry for your pain my wife is my most important everything and still i use drugs it truly is a fucked up desease i can only hope that one day she will have faith in me again like you will your husband i dont want her fussing at me i want her loving me but then i take that as an ok to do it again my mind thinks of drugs all the time i have no answers for you only prayers and wishes for you a good life with you and your husband
  3. Jamiew72

    Jamiew72 Member

    Hang in there and keep your faith in god and your husband im sure inside his head hes praying to be normall again and have back the loving relationship you once had ill keep you in my prayers
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Lexima... I'm so sorry that you're going through what you're going through with your husband. It sounds like he's having a lot of trouble giving up drugs. Has he ever seen an addiction specialist or gone to treatment? Those are both things that I think could really help him. An addiction specialist can assess your husband's situation and recommend the best next steps for him. Do you think you could convince your husband to go see one?

    You're in a tough spot because of your pregnancy, for sure. The added stress of your husband's addiction is not something you need to be dealing with right now. Your health and the baby's health should be your number one priority. You MUST be sure to take good care of yourself! You and that baby are the most important things in your world right now!

    There are a couple of books I think you could benefit greatly from. One is Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and the other is a book called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. I talk a little bit about those books (and others) in this blog I wrote a while back:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that you're not alone. There are so many people who have partners struggling with addiction, and that addiction affects everyone...not just the addict. We are here to offer you help and support whenever you may need it, so don't hesitate to reach out.

    Sending you lots of love and light, along with big hugs of hope.
  5. Lexima

    Lexima Member

    Get help. Sounds like you really do love your wife but drugs have taken over. You fight the drug. I know her pain and if she sees your struggle to fight the same thing shes fighting something good will come out of it.
  6. Lexima

    Lexima Member

    I honestly dont know if hes seen a specialist or had treatment. He thinks Ill leave him again because Ive done it before. But the truth is I love him so much Im willing to fight this battle with him. He admits to needing help and says he'll do anything. So if youre suggesting a specialist and or treatment thats what we'll look for.
    Thank you
  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    You're very welcome, @Lexima. Remember: Love the addict...hate the disease.
    Lexima likes this.
  8. Donnchadh

    Donnchadh Active Contributor

    I'm so sorry that your back to square one with your husbands addiction plus the added stress of being pregnant. Unfortunately addicts relapse Heroin is bad enough but it's on a different level now with meth I've used both in the past and in all honesty it's not a good environment for you or a newborn child to be in. Most people relapse because they stop going to their meetings they think they are cured but we addicts will never be cured we can arrest our addiction one day at a time by keeping with our meetings. I'd suggest for yourself to get to NAR ANNON a brilliant support network for families of addicts there you'll find the best people who can guide you through trauma your dealing with. As for your husband he will have to go to rehab join Narcotics Anonymous and keep with his meetings for the rest of his life if he really wants to get and stay clean. If he doesn't unfortunately it's a harsh step but you're going to have to get out of the situation you're in That's why I'm suggesting Nar Anon to you you'll need people who understand what you're dealing with. I so wish you all the very best your both in my thoughts and prayers xx