@Knightem01 hey there! thanks for reaching out... takes courage to ask for help... i'm sorry you are struggling. i know you love your daughter so much.... and you don't want to lose her, and she deserves a momma that is in her right mind and won't die. so do whatever it is you need to do to get on the path of recovery. if you want to tell your mom, tell her. ask for help. reach out. if you keep doing the same things you're doing, you'll get the same results.
you've got to make some serious decisions, including your boyfriend. is this the kind of life you want for her? i know you don't... i know you take care of her, but the emotional strain that you feel can have an impact on her. might not see it now, but can show up later in life.
a friend of mine had 2 boys and was addicted to crack. she went to rehab and her mom watched the boys while she was in.... she really wanted to get free and didn't want to lose her boys either. they didn't take custody from her, but a social worker was involved, which was a good thing. she needed accountability and help... she got clean. after treatment, she went to NA meetings. 90 meetings in 90 days at first, and then 2 or 3 nights a week for years. then to 1 meeting a week. she turned her life around...but it took her busting her butt. she would read devotionals in the morning and right before bed. she had a sponsor and worked the 12 Steps of NA. she wanted a better life and worked hard at it. she also ended a relationship at the beginning of her sobriety and stayed single for a while to work on her.
that's her story. what will your story be? what do you want it to be.?
this is a chance for a new chapter.... if bf doesn't want to get clean, you can still get clean. draw a line in the sand and say no more. tell your mom or whoever you need..and let people help you. it won't be easy...but it will be worth it.
do you have a rehab in mind? have you thought about NA? counseling? reading books on addiction? etc? there are many paths to recovery...and it takes time. it's about progress, so don't expect perfection...
i hope this helps and encourages you. keep sharing here. we will never bash or judge you. drugs are addictive...that doesn't make you a bad person. or weak. or a failure. you're a beautiful soul with hopes and dreams just like the rest of us..... look in the mirror at your eyes.... deep. THAT women underneath that addiction... she's calling your back.
freedom. it's possible.
hugs.
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