Hi My name is Holly and I'm addicted to codeine. I've been using on and off for two years, which I know isn't long compared to other people. I only used it for real pain before, but after losing my job I got depressed and have been self medicating. It's not at its worst level now - at one point I was taking 6 or 7 tablets four times a day, how the hell I survived I don't know - but it can't carry on. I'm functional and hide it well, but still. I know I can't carry on with this. I posted on another forum and have recieved good advice, but I think I'd benefit from hearing from other addicts and people in recovery as well. At the moment I'm planning on tapering down at the end of next week, but I'm scared. I don't want to go cold turkey as I get so low while doing it, and I start a new job Monday. I usually take my dad's prescription (awful I know) but have ran out and ordered online. It was too easy, and now I'm tempted to order more. I know I need to change but keep making excuses and minimising things. I need some support, and probably some straight talking tough love as well. I haven't got much RL support. The Dr is out as I don't want to jeopardize my employment chances, me and my parents don't have a great relationship, and logistically getting to NA would be difficult as the nearest one is 25 miles from me and I don't drive. I'm grasping at straws as I need to change but can't see a way out.