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Helping a Friend

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by tasha, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    I recently had the shock of seeing a friend after she had been to rehab. She got old and grey, looked very tired and also looked as though life had been sucked out of her. Her eyes looked so sad and the lines on her face looked as though they had big stories to tell.
    It took a while for anyone to notice that she was doing drugs and the people around her ignored it or believed that it was the last time until it was the last time after an evening of being arrested.
    When I got to speak to her she told me that she felt worthless and that life had just not given her what she expected it should have been. It got hard and she was under a lot of pressure and that is when she decided to start using to escape for a while and to give her a boost to continue in in her own world.
    Unfortunately that did not end well for her but she has now been in rehab and she is on a road to recovery with help and support from those who love her.
    You should never feel that you are not worth it and that others are above you in any way but most importantly is to know that no drug or alcohol can change your life....only YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE, and it is up to you to decide where you would like to be and accept nothing less than what you wish for.
  2. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    From my understanding, fighting depression seems to be a major part of rehabilitating. But a lot of people have seemed to gotten past it, and lead good lives!
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @tasha Thanks for sharing this with us. I will keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers.

    Mental health issues--depression, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, etc.--are often the root cause of someone's foray into drugs. They are looking to self-medicate and just feel normal. They don't want to harm themselves or the ones they love...they just want the pain they're feeling to go away.

    What many don't understand is that any relief they find from drugs is only temporary, and in order to keep that feeling going they will have to use more and more just to feel normal. Eventually, they may not find any relief at all from drugs.

    Nothing good comes from picking up and using. Sure, someone might feel better for a short time. But in the end, drugs have "disaster" written all over them.
    gracer likes this.
  4. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    It is nice to know that she is now on her path towards recovery, and yes, just continue to support and encourage her. She will get better in time. I would be rooting for her success. :)
  5. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    @deanokat is right. Sometimes people turn to drugs or substances to relieve their selves of the pain they are feeling deep inside. They never had the intention of hurting themselves or others but what they didn't know was that taking drugs or substances would eventually hurt the ones they love and even themselves. Having someone to support them and listen to their voices is an important factor in letting them know that the drugs and the substances are not the solution to their problems and will definitely not take away the emotional pain they feel inside.

    I'm glad your friend is now on her way to recovery. I hope she would never give up on her fight and succeed at beating addiction. :)
    deanokat likes this.
  6. KelsieDee

    KelsieDee Member

    I have been through addiction with family members and it was absolutely not easy. You can't give up on them no matter how much damage they do to you or themselves. They need to have somebody who cares and is willing to fight for them. I am happy that your friend is on the road to recovery. It is important that you keep giving her your love and support.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I am happy that your friend is on the road to recovery. She is so lucky to have a friend like you to support and encourage her long the difficult road a head of her. It won't be easy but it will easier when she knows that she has those who love her and care about her and will always be there for her. Everything takes time. I will be keeping her in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing her story with us.
  8. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Hi Tasha. In a way I agree with you but you see, a person doing drugs has a significantly lower resiliency compared to someone who's just sad but not doing drugs. It's a blessing that you're there to support her. I hope that you will continue to mentally and emotionally assist your friend until she recovers completely. She is currently in a situation where she needs all the love and support she can get.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    you are so right! I've known people whose families gave up on them because they needed help to begin ith. It seems like if anyone was going to give you a chance to get better it would be your family.
  10. calicer1996

    calicer1996 Community Champion

    Hope is the only reason people live. Hope for...something that matters to the individual. Do not let that hope die. Not at any cost!
  11. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @tasha... I hope your friend is continuing to do well. You are so great for supporting her.
  12. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Just don't forget to take care of yourself, too. Being someone's support can take a lot out of you. You should make sure you have someone to talk to, as well.
    deanokat likes this.
  13. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    I'm glad that you shared this, what a great friend you are! It's important to remember that things CAN change and they CAN get better...yes there will be challenges and often even relapses but people are 100% capable of it and with the right resources and support it can be made easier.
  14. ZXD22

    ZXD22 Senior Contributor

    Thanks for sharing @tasha and I'm very glad that you had done the right thing! She is on her way to recovery and sooner or later she will be a better, and happier person. You are a great person and you should be proud for what you have done.
  15. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Please keep us informed! I'm sure we would all like to hear how things are going!
  16. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    This is such great advice, @LilAnn. The supporters need support, too! :)
  17. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    its too easy to focus on the addict, and forget about the person walking them through it.
    deanokat likes this.