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Helping a loved one

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by khadija, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Never give up, never stop supporting him. It sounds like he does want to get clean, but then the addiction draws him back in. Addiction is about pleasure, so something about the drug is enjoyable, even if it is just for a moment. That's why it has a hold on him, physically or psychologically. Help him remember all the reasons he does not want to have this destructive substance in his life and remind him that he can do this, that the people who love him believe in him.
  2. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    I think you can lay on the guilt and tell him to think of what he is doing to his family all you want, but that won't work. He already feels guilty and horrible inside and that is why he medicates. Reminding him will make him medicate even more. You need to inspire. Inspire them to feel that they are important and they are worth saving.
  3. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    At the end of the day, they have to want to get clean for themselves, as much as others. Encouragement is important, but so is not letting them get away with stuff. Calling them on their BS, holding them accountable, these are ways to show support, but to also be strong. In the end, if you're doing them a disservice, it's only hurting them, and in many cases yourself and others too.
  4. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Accountability is very important, they need to be held responsible for their actions, in that way it might be easy for them to realize that in fact they are doing something wrong.
    Nick W. likes this.
  5. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    I feel like accountability is almost this lost thing anymore. Not just in rehab and recovery, but also in life in general. I see so many people just passing the buck, or coming up with excuses why things are not their fault. I have a lot of respect for anyone that can just say, "I messed up. I'm sorry. I'll try harder". If it's simple and direct, and sincere, then I think that's a wonderful quality to have.
  6. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    Sadly that is true, people are not responsible for their actions. I fight with my kids for them to be responsible and I feel that education starts to lack in our society.
    Nick W. likes this.
  7. GabinoTapia

    GabinoTapia Active Contributor

    Getting professional help from a rehab center or even a counselor can really help. My uncle used to be a major addict, but thankfully my family and I helped him fight it. I know it may be hard realizing that you and your family may need help from others and that they may even be strangers, but they know what they are doing and they will help.
  8. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Support groups might be available there and could help him. Those who have addiction problems before and successfully recovered might give him motivation/inspiration that he can also do it.
  9. light

    light Active Contributor

    Tell him to never give up and do all you can to show him that he is appreciated. The fact that he has started his recovery process means that he is willing to become sober and this is good news. Your presence in difficult moments has a lot of significance for him. In tempting moments you must be there to offer him to do something together, go hiking, riding bicycles or doing something crazy you haven’t done before.
  10. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    I can totally relate to your situation. It can become frustrating at times when the person that you are trying to help is not budging. I would encourage you to still be there to help and support him. Even if you are not getting the chance to discourage him from taking drugs, still don't leave him out in the Woods all by himself.
  11. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    Yes you definitely need to get him into a support group. You could even tell him to visit this forum. This forum was specifically designed for individuals possessing his needs.r ty
    Yes you definitely need to get him into a support group. You could even tell him to visit this forum. This forum was specifically designed for individuals possessing his needs.
  12. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Right that forums like this can help too. One can express his thoughts or ideas, share personal experiences and seek for advice in forums like this without the need to reveal the real identity or being anonymous if that is the person preference.