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Helping Alcoholic Uncle

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Vinaya, Feb 15, 2016.

  1. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    I have an uncle who is alcoholic. He has been to rehabilitation center.After staying 30 days, he came out sober, but just in a week he again went back to alcoholism. He also has clinical depression and diabetes. Alcohol is making is condition worse. How do I help him?
  2. Maybe you could sit down with him once and talk to him how his alcoholism is negatively affecting everyone around him. The fact that he has clinical depression is one of the red flags which may be making him turn to alcohol. Talk to him and make him feel that there are people around him to support him. Find out the reason for his depression. Also alcoholism along with diabetes is a massive health risk, let him know that too.
  3. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    He's tried to fight his addiction once. Use that to get through to him. You need to find out what made him relapse and try to convince him to take a stab at fighting the addiction. It might take a while to convince him but keep trying. Should he agree to do it be prepared to be by his side to offer support so he doesn't relapse again.
  4. Ram Shah

    Ram Shah Member

    I agree with Rainman. The fact that he tried to go sober means he recognizes that it is a problem, which is the first step. Most people refuse to believe that it is a problem and hence cannot get rid of the addiction. Since he tried to quit once find out what happened that gave him the inspiration to try quitting once and try to recreate that motivation in him. The depression is definitely not helping and going to a therapist for the depression will also reduce the alcohol consumption. All the best!
  5. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    You have to tell him to quit the drinking. If it's making his condition worse the drinking has to go. Let him know that you're really concerned about him. In reality the rest is all up to him.
  6. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    I think having tried the rehabilitative approach and failed, discouragement can creep in. This is made worse by the uncle's medical condition. I think it is time to approach the spiritual aspect of his addiction. Fast for 3 days and pray at the midnight hour to get a revelation, the roots of the matter. This physical world we live in and what happens in it is simply the manifestation of what has already happened spiritually.
  7. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I also think that the clinical depression is making him turn to alcohol because basing from my experience before, I consumed more alcohol whenever I felt so down and it has actually been my means of releasing my pains and relieving me of the heavy burden inside me. But when I'm already out of the influence, reality sets in again. Help your uncle find therapy for his depression and be there with him in every step of the way. What he really needs right now is someone who has the strength to hold on to him and encourage him every time he would feel vulnerable to drinking. It will not be an easy task but be strong in helping him get out of his misery. You could be his only hope right now. Whenever you would need any help in dealing with him one of these days, always feel free to come here and confide in us. Good luck @Vinaya! :)
  8. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    The issue is we cannot help those who don't want to be helped. If he was 30 days clean and he relapse after that it just shows he doesn't want to quit, so what can you do?
  9. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Sadly your family seems to have done everything they could to help him, but it didn't work :( The only person who can help him now is himself, he clearly doesn't want to stop drinking, if he did this was the perfect time to do so... after spending that time in that center. But who knows, maybe this is just another relapse... it's normal it happens while someone is trying to stop drinking, but I find the fact that he started drinking again after such a short time... shortly after leaving that center.
  10. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think it can be sad to see him suffer from alcohol and the person who suffers from this problem will have to decide on what they want to do in their life as this can affect their health and also relationships, which can make them do things which are not good for the body and health as well. It is nice to help your uncle and also other people can try to do so as well and also hope he does not give up the battle as it is a long one and can take many years to sort out, and some people do struggle for a long time. It is good to sit down and talk and see what can be done and he does need to sort his problem slowly and not alone which can be hard and also hope he does see what he is doing to others who are affected from this.
  11. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    It's great to sit down and talk, but are they willing to do that? I have the example of my friend who always refused to debate his problems, so ignoring something is certainly not the answer.
  12. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    It is great if you can sit down and talk to him and express the concerns you have about his health and what the alcohol is doing to him but I am sure he is will aware of that. He knows he has a problem because he was in rehab. Your family is doing everything that they can to help him but sadly he has to want to help himself too. If he doesn't want to stay sober and get clean he is not going to. All the talking won't do anything until he is ready to get clean. It is so difficult to watch them destroying their lives and feeling helpless.
  13. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Exactly, he needs to be ready and he needs to be willing, only at that point our helping hand can make a difference, if he doesn't want to there is nothing we can do.
  14. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I'd say take him to a therapist and treat his depression first. As long as he's depressed, he'll keep on drinking. So, treat that first, and then take him back to the rehab center. Hope it works out.
  15. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    That is the right thinking as far as I see it @henry, we need to work on the causes because if we just try to deal with the effects the causes will make us return to drinking.
    henry likes this.
  16. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I suggest your Uncle should return to rehab if he fails to listen to you like others have suggested. He is aware of his condition and is still worsening it. What more could be the problem? Does he want to kill himself? It does not make sense at all. Why would he continue to consume something that is gradually leading him to his grave? You @Vinaya must talk some sense into him.
  17. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Vinaya... Was your uncle in a treatment center that specializes in dual diagnosis? There are many treatment centers that treat addiction and mental health issues simultaneously. If the facility your uncle was in wasn't one of those, perhaps finding him a dual diagnosis facility would be helpful.
  18. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Maybe try to convince him to be in rehab again or have consultation with experts that could help him with his health condition and addiction. He might found a treatment program and approach that will work better for him.
  19. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    I think that the best idea is to make him see what he is missing and what he can have waiting for him if he gets clean, show him how better life can be...