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Helplessly watching slow death happening

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Day2Day, Jun 17, 2018.

  1. Day2Day

    Day2Day Member

    Watching slow death happening. Inconceivable statement unless you're living it everyday with a loved one. In my case my adult child, a heroin addict. No one will ever know the feeling of my heart stopping every time my cell phone rings. None will ever feel the total despair of looking into my child's emotionless eyes that one time shined. No one will ever hear my silent screams. No one will have countless sleepless nights waiting to hear the car pull into the driveway. It is so easy for people to say "they're adults and make their own choices". What these people don't realize is that I am dying along with my child. Addiction is not a choice. It is a desease. Laws needs to he changed to allow parents of an adult child struggling with addiction to have the right to make the best decision on their adult addicts child behalf. Too many of our children have been buried because parents do not have the right to make a life saving decision on their child's behalf. Does anyone know how and is interested on become an advocate in Passaic county New Jersey?
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I am so sorry you are going through something such as this,i at a certain point in my life was stuck in the situation your son is in and i am really trying to dig deep in myself to think of what would've or could've helped me in that time frame and the only thing i can think of is while i was deep in my addiction i kept waiting for my family to have an intervention.I can say i think if that would've happened i would have tried.I remember being so sick and always trying to find the next fix just to not be sick the cycle was endless and agonizing,i also remember i hated myself and only wanted a reason to try and get my life back but i couldn't find one and it took for myself hearing i only had a month at best to live before i tried to get sober and it nearly cost me my life in a deadly 27 day detox.I just wanted to be buried with no drugs in my system at that point.My heart hurts for you and I think trying an intervention is the way to go at this point.I remember being emotionless while i was deep in addiction however had i seen all my loved one's sitting around me telling me how much they loved me and wanted me back i do believe i would have been overcome with emotion because at that stage of addiction i was desperately looking for a reason to care again.God Bless you and i pray for your entire family
    Dominica likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Day2Day... I commented on your post in another thread, so I'll copy and past that response here:

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing with us. I'm very sorry to hear about your child. As someone who has an adult child who has struggled with various addictions--including heroin--over the last 13 or so years, I am very familiar with much of what you're describing.

    Unfortunately, it's not easy to get an adult child into treatment if they don't want to go willingly. That definitely makes it difficult for parents and other family members who are desperate to get their loved one help. I don't know what would be involved in getting your child help. You may want to contact a lawyer or your local social services agency and ask them. I'm sorry I can't help more.

    We're here to help and support you. You are not alone. So don't hesitate to reach out and lean on us anytime, even if it's just to vent. We will always listen, my friend.

    Praying hard for you and your child.

    Also, you may want to check out a book called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written specifically for parents and partners of people struggling with addiction, and it's full of incredibly helpful information. One of the things it covers is how to help convince your loved one to want help. I highly recommend the book to all parents and loved ones of people with addiction issues.
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  4. Day2Day

    Day2Day Member

    Thank you .
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Day2Day hi there. thanks for reaching out. i'm so sorry about this load that you carry. i do understand to a degree what you go through..... different drug, buy my son struggles too. the fear can be paralyzing..for sure...

    i wish there was more we could do too.

    here if you need to share...and i pray your son will reach out for help.
    deanokat likes this.