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heroin addiction what to do

Discussion in 'Heroin' started by 41silverton, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. 41silverton

    41silverton Member

    My son was arrested for heroin possession and he is still in Jail. Everyone tells me to leave him there and its the best thing for him. i checked with rehab clinics and i am shocked at the prices. He was a great kid who ended up with really bad arthritis and until they could get him on humira they gave him tons of pain killers and now he is addicted to heroin. what should i do for my son.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @41silverton... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry that your son is struggling with heroin, but I'm glad you've reached out for help.

    As the father of a 26-year-old son who has struggled with heroin addiction, I'm sure I can relate to a lot of what you're feeling right now. It's definitely a situation none of us ever expected to be going through. But that doesn't mean it can't be dealt with effectively.

    Depending on how long of a jail stay your son is facing, it might be a very good idea to let him wait things out. One of the things we have to do when a loved one suffers from addiction is to let them suffer the natural consequences of their behavior. If you "rescue" your son from jail, he will likely expect you to do it the next time (if there is a next time). That said, if this is your son's first brush with the legal system on drug-related charges, bailing him out wouldn't be the worst thing in the world IF he agreed to go to treatment.

    Now, regarding treatment: Yes, most residential rehab facilities are very expensive. But if your son has health insurance, many insurance companies will cover a good portion of the costs associated with rehab. If your son doesn't have insurance, there are facilities out there that are low-cost, and still others that work on a sliding scale depending on the patient's ability to pay. A good place to research these facilities is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's website. They have a Treatment Services Locator tool on their site that allows you to filter for various characteristics, including low-pay/no-pay. Here's the link:

    SAMHSA Treatment Services Locator

    Also, getting help for an addiction problem doesn't always have to mean residential treatment. There are many outpatient programs that can be very effective, too.

    You may also want to consider having your son see an addiction specialist. They can assess your son's situation and recommend the best next steps for him. The American Society of Addiction Medicine has a Find a Doctor tool on their website. Here's that link:

    ASAM Find a Doctor link

    Lastly, I recommend that you read up on addiction and educate yourself so that you understand your son's problem as best you can. I wrote a blog a while back that recommends some excellent books for people in your situation. I think you would especially benefit from reading the Beyond Addiction and Clean books. Here's a link to that blog:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    Please know that you are not alone. There are so many parents out there who are in, or have been in, the same position you're in. I know, because I am one of them. Do your best to approach your son with love, kindness, and empathy. Believe me: Getting angry and confrontational will not help anything. I've been there and done that, and had to learn the hard way.

    You should consider seeking out a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting and attending. It can be incredibly comforting and helpful to be amongst others who know what you're experiencing.

    We are here to help and support you however we can, so please don't hesitate to reach out anytime you need to. In the meantime, I'm sending you positive vibes full of hope. And I will keep your son in my thoughts and prayers. This isn't a moral failing; your son has a disease. But that doesn't mean that he can't recover from it. My son did, and yours can, too.

    ToKenbetrue likes this.
  3. 41silverton

    41silverton Member

    Thank you for your support. it helps to have someone to talk to
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Anytime, my friend. I know you're in a horrible position and it's not easy. But you can get through it. I know you can. Reach out anytime you need to.
    LuvHimSo likes this.
  5. 41silverton

    41silverton Member

    he is calling me today begging me to get him out of jail. this is third day of detox and i guess it is hitting him real hard. how long will this last?
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @41silverton... The link I've included below has good information. In my opinion, unless he's going straight to a detox center or rehab, he might be better off finishing off his detox where he is. If he gets out now and doesn't go to a detox/treatment facility, he may be more apt to use again just to stop the withdrawal. That's just my two cents.

    Heroin Withdrawal Timeline, Symptoms, and Treatment

    Hang in there, my friend.
    ToKenbetrue likes this.
  7. 41silverton

    41silverton Member

    He just called again and said if I don't get him out tonight he is going to kill himself. Is this normal or should make the jail aware of this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @41silverton... Sorry for the delayed response. If I were you, I would let the jail know what your son told you. That way they can keep a close eye on him just in case. And he'll know that you're not totally ignoring him. But I would not go get him out of prison. As I mentioned earlier, he is likely just trying to manipulate you. My son used to use the "If you don't do it I'm gonna kill myself" threat all the time. They say whatever they think will push your buttons in hopes that you will cave. That's what addicts do.

    I will keep good thoughts for you. Let the jail know that your son is threatening to harm himself. That's the best thing for you to do, in my opinion.
    Peachtree and ToKenbetrue like this.
  9. 41silverton

    41silverton Member

    Well he is in rehab after 7 days in detox. It was nice to have my real son back. I was wondering what books you would recommend for me to buy him while he is in rehab? thanks again for your support
  10. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @41silverton... I'm glad to hear that he's in rehab after doing detox. That's progress, for sure.

    As far as your question about books... There are a lot of terrific memoirs out there that tell the story of people who have found recovery, but pretty much all of them are full of graphic descriptions of drug use, which can definitely be a trigger for someone new to recovery. I would steer clear of those. Instead, I would concentrate on inspirational type books. The Fix, a website about addiction/recovery, published a good list of books of the Most Popular Recovery Books a few years back. Here's the link:

    Most Popular Recovery Books (The Fix)

    I'm also a huge fan of Anne Lamott, a very spiritual and inspirational author who writes about life with such honesty. She's all about hope, gratitude, faith, etc. And she's in recovery herself. She's amazing. Some of her books that I think would be great for your son are:

    • Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith
    • Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
    • Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
    • Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers
    • Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope, and Repair
    • Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace

    I also recommend some books by Brené Brown, who is also an amazing writer:

    • The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
    • Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
    • I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"
    • Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.
    I hope this helps.
  11. 41silverton

    41silverton Member

    Thanks again for your support
    deanokat likes this.
  12. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Peachtree likes this.
  13. Peachtree

    Peachtree Member

    Yes please make the jail aware of this!
    deanokat likes this.