Welcome to the community,
@Worriedmother. As the father of an adult son who's in his 20s and has struggled with addiction for more than a decade, I can relate to a lot of what you're feeling. I know this is incredibly hard for you. You are not alone.
@True concern,
@Dominica, and
@lonewolves have already given you some great advice and insight, and that's a wonderful thing.
It's a very good thing that your daughter is in rehab. And the fact that she doesn't return your calls isn't necessarily a bad thing. A lot of times, people in rehab are so focused on themselves that they kind of cut off contact with the outside world. I'm hoping that's the case with your daughter.
I think Suboxone would be a good thing for your daughter, but unless the rehab she's in practices medication-assisted treatment (MAT), she probably isn't getting it. Going forward, when your daughter gets out of rehab, it may be something for her/you to look into. Seeing an addiction specialist for follow-up treatment would probably be a very good thing.
I don't know if your daughter will be living with you or not, but I would highly recommend that you get some naloxone (also known as Narcan) and have it on hand. It's available at most pharmacies now, as an injection or nasal spray. Naloxone works by blocking or reversing the effects of opioids and can save someone's life in the event of a heroin overdose. You should have it handy at all times.
Definitely try to practice some self-care, too. Yes, your daughter is very sick. But you have to take care of yourself so that you can be there for her. If you allow her condition to totally consume you, you can't help her deal with her situation. I always like to use the pre-flight instructions you get before you take off on a plane as an example: In the event of an emergency, put YOUR OWN oxygen mask on first; THEN try to help others. Because if you don't take care of yourself first, you will be useless and everyone will suffer.
Definitely look into Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or SMART Recovery Family & Friends meetings. You can find all of those groups online, and their websites will tell you where meetings are. (They have online meetings, too.) Also, think about doing some reading on the subject of addiction. Education can be super helpful when dealing with a loved one who struggles with addiction. Here's a link to some books that I think could really help you:
6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One
Please know that we are here to help, support, and listen to you. Anytime you need to, you can come here and lean on us. We are a group of people who truly care, and we will always listen without judgment. You are safe here, my friend.
Addiction is a horrible disease, and it's a
family disease that affects many more than just the person who has it. I know this is a very difficult time for you (and your husband). Please know that it's okay to feel all of the things you're feeling. And it's okay to cry. But remember to take care of you. Because your life is important, too. And if you allow yourself to become addicted to your daughter's addiction, the disease will destroy both of you. And we don't want that to happen.
Lastly, don't give up hope. Because where there is life, there is always hope.
Sending you love, light, and truckloads of HOPE. And I'm keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers. Please, please, please reach out to us anytime, okay?
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