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Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by kjones, Aug 5, 2015.

  1. kjones

    kjones Member

    Hi. I'm new here. My family has drug problems. I wish I could help them, but I have given every thing I can. I have thrown money, time, and help at this problem, and I still can't fix it.
  2. Hi, and thank you on behalf of all of us for your efforts. You are such a strong, and good-hearted person for trying! What you can do now is get professional help. Go find a rehab or doctor. And, hopefully, your family will be on track to a drug-free life. Good luck!
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @kjones... It's incredibly difficult when people we love have substance abuse issues. No matter how much we want them to change, they are the only ones who can make that change happen. Sometimes it's best to let go with love, instead of becoming addicted to their addiction. If they haven't sought professional help yet, @steve_me_alone's suggestion is a good one. But your family members will still have to want to get help. It's definitely a slippery slope. Kudos to you for caring enough to try and help. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    kjones likes this.
  4. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Hi @kjones! It must be very hard on your part to see your family go through addiction and you're the only one trying to help them change. I commend you for being strong enough to not be influenced by what you witness in your family and for having a kind heart to help them out even if you risk losing everything you have. I share @deanokat's statement though about your them being the only ones who can really pull themselves up from the lowly world of addiction. If they would find that drive and willingness to change, it wouldn't be so hard for you to push them to change. Don't be so hard on yourself either and leave a little something for yourself. You cannot hep them if you yourself will be dragged down by their situation.

    I wish you all the best and I hope your family would be able to find their passion to change one day.
    kjones and deanokat like this.
  5. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Hello there @kjones! Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story to us here. Well, I am sorry about what's currently happening to your family. It must have been really painful for you to see your family collapsing like that. And it must have been really frustrating to realize that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to help them, they just wouldn't make an effort to fight their addictions. I guess you have just got to be strong and patient. Probably one day, they would wake up and realize it's time to change for the better now. Best of luck with you.
  6. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Sadly there is not much more you can do if they are not willing to admit they have a problem and seek help. I commend you for being there for them and staying strong through all of this. You are a very caring person. Words that have stuck in my head since I have been on this forum are the words of deanokat, "Sometimes it's best to let go with love, instead of becoming addicted to their addiction." I am struggling with that too but those words stick in my head. You have to take care of you. Thank you for sharing your story, this forum is a great place to me. I am so glad you found us here.
    kjones and deanokat like this.
  7. kjones

    kjones Member

    Thank you for all of the replies. I have accepted that they have to want to do the recovery for themselves. But, in doing so - I am left with nothing. This is not the way I imagined being a parent of adult children. Never, have I felt so lonely and sad about a personal situation. I am on the verge of tears right now just thinking about this struggle and failure. I hate to be so negative, I am not trying to bring anyone down, it is just so painful to live with the knowledge that they are not really living. Again, I thank you guys for those great messages up there. I want to write more later, but I have to run an errand while I am blessed to have a much needed chance to get transportation.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @kjones... As the father of a 25-year-old son in recovery, I know the feeling a parent has when their adult child is addicted. Unfortunately, we have to let go with love sometimes. If they don't want to change, we can't force them. I'm praying that they will see the light eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later. Sending you hugs.
  9. Rex

    Rex Community Champion

    Hey man, i feel your pain. Just make sure your taking care of yourself ok.
    Your no good to anybody if your a mess
    deanokat likes this.
  10. EditorsRHumansToo!

    EditorsRHumansToo! Community Champion

    Hi there @kjones Welcome to the community. Your family needs help. You are right, they need to admit their addiction, the urgency to stop and must decide to seek professional help. Please stay stronger. You are not alone in this journey. Your life of living is full of hope and courage. And please do not blame yourself for what's happening to your adult children.

    Would you be able to see other extended family members of yours whom you think you could find refuge for the meantime while your addicted family is sorting themselves out in finding healing? Do they still live with you? I pray for peace and rest in your heart and soul. Take courage. I, too, am a parent of several young adults.

    Love and peace, @kjones
    deanokat likes this.