Hi everyone, i have been taking drugs for over 20 years now - ranging from cannabis, acid, ecstacy, alcohol, cocaine, speed - anything i could get my hands on. At my peak i was taking about 30 ecstacy a week amd smoking 2oz of cannabis. Last year I spent about 30,000 GB pounds on cocaine after splitting with my X girlfriend of 9 years. I started watching self help videos etc and turned to meditation, which, has greatly helped me. I cut my intake down to maybe once every 3 weeks, when i would get that voice in my head saying "its ok just go for a few pints and then up the road" ha I think a large number of us know where that ends up. Last weekend I attended a friend's wedding, this proved a tad less enjoyable than it may have, however, due to my all night bender the night before, which cumlinated in me sitting sniffing cocaine by myself then realising I was due to leave for the wedding 2 hours later!! I made it but met people there who had cocaine and ended up buying more (about 400 gb pounds worth!!) - I got to sleep at 8am tuesday morning and slept for 24 hours!! I sat in my house for 2 days after thinking why oh why oh why can i not just go out and socialise like a "normal" person without making myself almost ill in the process. I was searching in my head and online for somewhere to share this, not that i want any pats on the back or anything but its good to share stuff with people who understand. Much love.