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Hi, I'm new here... my story

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by HopefullyRecoverable, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. Hello everyone, I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I have a mental health clinic I go to during the week, but I am not currently taking any dual diagnosis (recovery) classes. I started abusing drugs and alcohol when I was a teenager, and my parents put me in rehab when I was 17. When I was 18, my psychiatric illness caused me to be hospitalized a number of times, and most of the time, I did not have access to drugs or alcohol. So, when I was able to get my own apartment in my mid-twenties, I started abusing cough medicine. I abused cough medicine, sometimes on a daily basis, for almost 15 years. I would go around to different drugstores, grocery stores, and superstores, all over the city, and buy them. I hid my abuse and addiction. I would throw the bottles and packages into the trash, and I would rip up the packages. Finally, I was hospitalized for an inability to urinate. They gave me a catheter and told me that Coricidins have an ingredient in them which can stop your ability to urinate, and you can die of renal (kidney) failure without a catheter. It happened a second time, because I chose to keep using them. The second time they gave me catheters to take home, but I went into rehab for the second time in my life. I paid attention in class. I attended a few twelve step meetings. I earned a coin. But soon after I relapsed again. This time I found alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, and crack-cocaine. I smoked a lot of marijuana, did cocaine three times with a boyfriend, and smoked crack-cocaine once. Thankfully, I didn't do it again, and I never want to, but I turned to alcohol, especially since the drugstore cashiers were getting very concerned about me. So, bottles piled up in my home I didn't want to recycle for fear of being discovered. Finally, I told my father about it, and I haven't had a drink since, but I crave it, and I am having a craving right now, although for technical reasons I cannot go out and get any, but I feel very uncomfortable without it.
    Dominica likes this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener


    Hello and welcome. You for reaching out. You mentioned that you're not in recovery classes at the health clinic, but are you able to get into them? Are you able to discuss your addiction to alcohol with a professional? Or are you thinking that perhaps you could start attending a 12-step group? How long have you been sober?

    I think it's great that you've told your father. It can help to be honest with someone and have some accountability. Your mind and your body will crave alcohol but not forever. You just got to get through this detox stage. Having some solid support can help you with that, and this forum is one Avenue you can definitely use. We're always here to support and encourage you however we can.

    Not sure if you're much of a reader but there are some good books that can encourage you as well. As well as some YouTube videos on the topic of addiction or alcohol recovery. Try to keep those things in the Forefront of your mind, so you'll have something to throw at those cravings when they come. Metaphorically speaking LOL

    Know that we're here and we are rooting for you!
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Welcome to the community, @HopefullyRecoverable. It sounds like you've been through a lot.

    Like @Dominica, I think talking to a professional about your addiction would be very helpful to you. I would suggest finding a therapist who specializes in addiction and giving that a shot. AA or SMART Recovery (12-step alternative) meetings could really make a difference, too. There's a lot of help and comfort to be found when you're around others who know exactly what you're going through and feeling.

    We are here to offer up help, support, or just a listening ear. You can come here anytime you'd like and lean on us. That's what we're here for. We care, my friend. You are not alone.

    I'm sending you lots of hope and encouragement.
  4. Thank you, guys. I have been sober for about two months and my psychiatrist knows about my past cough medicine use and other drinking and drug habits. He could refer me to the drug & alcohol rehabilitation department if I ask him to, and they also have an AA meeting on campus. I am dual diagnosis, so they put an emphasis on my mental health recovery while monitoring whether or not I self-medicate. This seemed like a good place to talk, and to let you know about my craving, because I sure needed the right forum for discussion. I thank you for your input. I know that people from all over and from all walks of life sometimes have recovery issues. And my encouragement goes out to all of you, as well.
    Dominica and deanokat like this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Two months of sobriety is great, @HopefullyRecoverable. Just keep going! So glad you found this forum and decided to join us! :)
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  6. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    deanokat and True concern like this.