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Hindering your Recovery

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Twinsmommy31, Feb 2, 2015.

  1. Twinsmommy31

    Twinsmommy31 Active Contributor

    When your parent is the one hindering your recovery, how do you address it? You don't want to push them away because they are your parent and you love them.
  2. juno

    juno Community Champion

    I'm trying to understand in what way is this parent hindering your recovery. Are they themselves users? In that case you have the moral decision to make and stay away from any users until they themselves recover regardless if they are a parent.

    Other than that, most parents are trying to help when they are too pushy and they don't understand that it is that type of behavior that pushed you over the edge in the first place. You may want to get some family counseling so that you can get the support you need to communicate your message tot your parent.
  3. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    I also like juno wonder why a parent would hinder a great thing such as their child getting the help they need and keeping clean. I also think it is within the child's right to actually put their foot down and in this case be selfish so to say and think of you first and your health. Yes, this might come across as hurtful or damaging to the parent/child relationship but in the long run the parent will eventually see that the child's stubbornness as a good evil in a sense. I would also suggest that you involve some family intervention, maybe get together close relatives and discuss this.
  4. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think in this case there is no other way but to push them away. Ultimately, it won't matter who the person is or what their connection is to you as long as the effect they have on you is negative. It's just unfortunate that sometimes the people who have the best tools to hinder you are the ones closest to you who know the right buttons to push, which is why I think it's even more reason to give yourself some distance.
  5. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Can you embrace fire even if you love it's warmth? Obviously not. You might love a parent but if they are holding you back from doing what you really want to [overcome an addiction] then you need to walk away, sever ties completely if you must until you achieve your goals.

    "Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness."
  6. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    As I've told other people here, you need to communicate with your parents and tell them how you feel and what's the current situation. Once you have done that, then you can figure things out from there.
  7. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    It obvious you love them, but do they love you enough to be supportive. It's the real world, not all parents are on your side. Go talk to them and let them know how you feel.
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Why would a parent hinder his/her child's recovery? That doesn't really make sense at all. Well, if that parent does prevent his/her own child's recovery, then I guess he/she doesn't care much about his/her kid.
  9. jkendall

    jkendall Member

    I guess it really depends on how exactly they are hindering recovery. You may need to give some more details. I would say however; that open, honest and constructive communication can be one of the most effect tools in bringing understanding and compromise to such a situation. The solution to any problem however; begins internally. Analyze your own thoughts and actions and figure out ways of improving the situation on your part. Try not to blame others or look for excuses.
  10. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    You may consider moving out, if you live with them. That is when you are above 18. But you may have your younger ones who might be affected more than you. You must have talked to your aunties and uncles for help. It is very important to live positively, always insist on that. Do not forget that it is for your own benefit.
  11. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    Do you mean hindering your recovery by reintroducing the substance in your life or merely by being frustrated with you all the time. If it was the former, then I cannot see why moving out is a bad idea. Parents are supposed to help their child recovers and not the other way around. However, if it was the later, then I think you can stay with them and understand that deep inside, they also want you to live a healthy life.
  12. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    As hard as it can be, I would be pushing them away if they weren't receptive or helpful to the idea of my recovery. Just because someone is your parent doesn't necessarily mean they are a good person to be around - and boy, it can be one of the hardest things to admit when that's the case. I don't have a great relationship with one of my parents - manipulative, angry and resentful are all words I would use - and it took me a long time to be okay with not having to be in contact with them all the time. We aren't ever going to be that close parent-child relationship and that's okay and not my fault!

    Please though, try and separate "parent" from the equation. If anyone else was sabotaging your recovery we would all tell you to cut them off, really. Parents are no different.