To be clear, she is my FUTURE sister in law, which might give you a better idea of my current role in my fiancee's family. Been together for 4 years now, engaged for 1, I love his family, but have never seen his youngest sister sober. Ever. I have experience with substance abuse and I honestly do not judge her. She is obviously struggling, and has been for years. She and I are the same age. She has 2 wonderful daughters and a loving, but enabling, husband. Her folks, my future in laws, and her siblings, have no idea how to help her. It's the elephant in the room at every family get together and holiday. Its intolerable. We hardly get together anymore because shes falling over drunk, or saying horrible things, or driving her kids around while intoxicated. We don't allow alcohol at any family gathering for her sake. Its all killing her mother, who is a sweet God-fearing woman that has seen alcohol ruin her own childhood... Everyone has been on repeat for the past 3 years, they talk about her behind her back, say all the same things over and over and occasionally someone will drum up the courage to say something to her, to no absolutely avail. She shuts down and runs away and lashes out in the textbook manner. Her husband keeps enabling, her mother keeps on trying to sit her down, which only makes her angry, and her kids keep suffering. I am honestly getting angry. I keep fantasizing about finally saying something to her in front of the entire extended family, berating her into submission. I know this isn't realistic. I get angry with her brother, my fiancee, and ask why he wont do more to help his neices... knowing that I am powerless in this as an outsider. What can I do? Really, I want to know how I can help anyone involved in this nightmare. We have the neices over for sleepovers with my stepdaughter, their cousin, to get them out of that horrible house, but that's just a night or two... I try to console my mother in law, she attends Al-Anon meetings regularly, but doesn't seem to know what to do past that...I do my best to sit in the background as a not-quite-family-yet member but still offer support...but keeping my mouth shut has become a real challenge. I've started researching treatment for her, interventions, but it all costs money that none of us have. Confronting her on my own will not work. I am honestly worried that she will die tragically or take someone elses life on accident. Can anyone share a story on how someone reached out? How were you compelled to finally get help? I am grateful for any ideas. Thank you.