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How can I help someone who doesn't want help yet?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Carrie, Oct 1, 2014.

  1. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    It's hard to force someone to change there ways. You can give the person advice and even live by example, but it's all up to them. Pray for your friend and live your life doing what's best for you. Maintain your health and well being by avoiding destructive relationships.
  2. jupiter

    jupiter Active Contributor

    Sorry to hear that. I know it is difficult dealing with alcoholism. I have been on both sides of the story. In my opinion, there isn't much you can do to help her, until she is ready to help herself. You don't have to hang around her if it makes you feel bad. Maybe you could give her a call. Or send her a message and let her know you are thinking about her, and that you really want her to get help so you can be close again. Good luck
  3. endoftherainbow

    endoftherainbow Active Contributor

    You can't always help people who don't want to be helped. Even if they do want your help, they have to be serious about it and come to terms to meet you halfway. If they clearly need help and it's going to threaten their life or safety, then you also have to know when to intervene on their behalf. They might not like you doing it, and they might even hate you temporarily for it. But you may be saving their life if it's life or death and your ability to see what is needed to help them is their only chance at life before it's too late. It's a strong judgement call to make, but sometimes in desperate situations you have to know when to make it before it is too late.
  4. henry

    henry Community Champion

    We drinkers mostly choose to forget what happened the night before when we were out of our minds. It's a kind of defense mechanism our brain has to prevent us from getting too worked up. I guess that's what your friend is doing. Whenever we do some embarrassing thing while drunk, and someone reminds you of it the next day, we always say we don't remember. Sometimes it's true, and sometimes it's not. We just choose to forget because it's too embarrassing for us to handle. And if she doesn't want any help, there's not much you can do about it.
  5. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    The best thing you can do is not to give up. You can try to open his eyes indirectly and gently. It is up to you because you know that person. The best way to hear this is from someone you love dearly and if you have that connection I think he will understand that you wish him well. When he does be there for him and help him. Best wishes to both of you.
  6. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Well, you have decided to send her a letter telling her that you care, so I hope it all goes well. I think that the best thing to do would be to withdraw from her until she comes to her senses to get help.