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How can I stop a friend's addiction without them knowing?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by blastguardgear, May 11, 2015.

  1. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    Have a friend who is gradually getting addicted to alcohol in small proportions. Since he is not accepting the fact that he is getting addicted to it, he is uncooperative to approach any kind of help. I would like to help him from this addiction without his knowledge. Is that possible?
    Corzhens likes this.
  2. SunnySkies

    SunnySkies Active Contributor

    Hmm... How much is he currently drinking daily, and how much is his intake increasing?

    I think your best bet would be to relate to him, and figure out why he started increasing his intake of alcohol in the first place. It may be a problem or underlying issue that has cropped up. Use that and discuss ways to resolve that problem, and subtly mention the slow reduction to alcohol consumption. The best way to get through to people is usually through shared understanding.
    henry likes this.
  3. diprod

    diprod Active Contributor

    There's really no sneaky way to it. I tried it too but it didn't work. Just come out with your honesty.
  4. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think it's possible especially if the addiction is still only budding. Just try and invite him to activities that don't have to have alcohol in it to be enjoyable, like running. If you are able to convince him about the joy of running marathons, for example, he might meet lots of new friends and find the activity enjoyable enough that it becomes his next addiction instead of alcohol.
  5. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Without him knowing, I wouldn't have thought that there us a way. Just be upfront and honest. Tell him that you think he's drinking too much.

    He'll either accept your advice or he won't, that's about all you can do, at the end of the day it's his decision.
  6. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I share all of the opinions posted above. Try talking to him. He will either take your advice or not, but that's all you can do. You can try having some intervention involving family and friends, but at the end of the day, it's really up to him.
  7. cpinatsi

    cpinatsi Senior Contributor

    There might be a way to do something like that, but to be honest I'm not so sure if that will be that succesful. It will be much better if you talk to the person that needs your help and work together to find a proper solution to his problem.
  8. You can't really.

    If you want them to stop, they're eventually going to have to make the decision to stop. You can't be around all the time sneaking away their beers. Even if you could, taking care of them on that level will take so much out of you emotionally that it could cause you some big problems.

    Honestly, being upfront with them, while hard, is the best move. When you're upfront, you're making it clear that you both care about them and are treating the situation with a level of seriousness that it warrants. If you try and stop them without them knowing, you risk coming off as passive-aggressive which sorta makes the situation seem more trivial than it actually is. You could also drive them away from you and further into drinking that way as well.

    At best, you might be able to suggest alternate activities that might keep them away from drinking, but fixing their addiction is something they're going to have to do. You don't want to be sitting around hoping they'll eventually fix the problem. That's why I think it's better to try talking to them upfront.
  9. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    There's no way you can help a friend that way OP, without them knowing you are trying to help them that is.

    Even those who use more direct approaches often fail to convince their friends to stop using drugs. It's not that they don't do enough. It's never easy to get an addict to admit that they have a problem which needs to be "fixed." Offer advice directly but if your friend doesn't like it don't ever blame yourself for being unable to get him turn his back on drugs.

    Just be there for him. Persistence sometimes is the solution to such a problem.
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Maybe try to invite him doing other things like having a sport so that he will not have time drinking. But better to approach him directly about it and know his reasons. He might feel motivated to stop drinking when he feels the real concern from you.
  11. ZXD22

    ZXD22 Senior Contributor

    One sneaky way I would guess is if you told your friend to go see what's outside and swap the liquor for a similar tasted flavored water or something he he! In all honesty though you will have to stand up and tell him straight out. It would be too hard to do it with him knowing.
  12. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    The only thing I would do in your situation is to not putting him in the situation where the chance of him buying those alcohol is high. For example, I would not lead him towards the beer section of the grocery store or I would not ask him to go to a pub that serves beer at a low cost. I know it is not that practical as you cannot always keep eyes on your friend forever. However, I think that is the easiest way to help him without being too obvious that you are trying.
  13. Corzhens

    Corzhens Active Contributor

    Gee, that one is a hard nut to crack. The first step to rehab and recovery is acceptance. The mere fact that your friend has not accepted his addiction because of his alibi of small proportions, he would graduate to a higher level of alcoholism. My suggestion is for you to wean away your friend from alcohol by enjoining him in an activity that does not involve alcohol.
  14. Hiraeth

    Hiraeth Active Contributor

    well if he thinks he is not getting addicted and says he has it under control next time he talkes about going to a place to drink ask him to drop the plan and come along with you to a place you hangout without substance , you can know by his reactions how bad the problem is
  15. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Well, that is a difficult thing to do. If you really want to help him, you should just be painfully honest to him, tell him you are worried about his health and life. Anyway, I think you could start by asking him to hang out with you and do activities or sports so he would not be tempted to drink.
  16. CallipygianGamine

    CallipygianGamine Community Champion

    If you’ve already talked to him and he’s refused to see there’s a problem, then you’ve done all you can as far as a potential addiction goes. You can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves. I do agree that you could try engaging him in alcohol-free activities and invite him to non-alcoholic events, though. It won’t exactly address any potential problem, but it’s about all you can do if someone doesn’t want to change.
  17. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    Like some said above, I don't think there's any sneaky workaround except probably subtly implying the respective person needs to cease taking whatever he's taking, but even in that case it's quite obvious that you're trying... so, I will have to say there's really no workaround to this, sorry.
  18. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I commend you for wanting to help your friend before the problems get out of hand but unfortunately you can't help him unless he wants to help himself. At this point he probably doesn't thing that he has a problem and he might never realize that he does. You can talk to him but he is probably not going to listen to what you have to say. You can only be there for him and if he ever decides he needs help then he has a friend who will be supportive of him. I know how you feel. It is frustrating and sad to watch somebody you care about abusing alcohol. I have been in your place for a very long time now.
  19. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I don't think you can do it.... how would someone do such a thing? Diluting his alcohol with lots of water? Lol, sorry, that is the only thing that came into my mind right now. I got a brain tumor, some days my mind is not very clear. But other than diluting his alcohol with water I can't see how you can stop him fro drinking alcohol.

    He needs to want to stop on his own, you can't trick someone into quitting.
  20. Lizel

    Lizel Community Champion

    You won't be able to help him without him knowing about it.
    It's like drinking tons of alcohol a day and saying that you're not an alcoholic.
    You must talk with your friend, saying that you have noticed, that he is abusing alcohol.
    Your support could be a good starter help for him.