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How did alcohol affect your relationships?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by FuZyOn, Aug 11, 2015.

  1. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I remember the times when I used to be addicted to alcohol. I would constantly fight with my mom, dad and girlfriend because they were really mad I was missing deadlines and I couldn't get a hold of myself. I look back on those times with fear, and I'm really shocked that I allowed myself to lose control over myself.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  2. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I can fairly relate to your experience. When I used to drink a lot, I had this horrible argument with my dad and ended up hurting him with words I should never have spoken. My mom was also very hurt by the way I have acted during that time and when she talked to me about it, I couldn't help but feel so much guilt and pain inside me. It pained me how I have hurt them so much over words that should never have come out of my mouth. That was the most regrettable moment of my life and would never want to go back to ever again. Good thing I am now a fully changed person and my relationship with them has never been better, we've even become a tighter family than ever before.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  3. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Alcohol affected two relationships, both in very different ways. The first we both liked a drink, and living together it got to the point that we would be drinking every night, we'd still be going to work and doing all the normal things, but in the evening we'd get drunk, this led to arguments and financial problems, and eventually we both agreed that we wasn't good for each other so I ended that relationship.

    The second ended because while I liked a drink, and manage to cut back from every day to probably a couple of times a month, my partner never drank at all. She wasn't against alcohol, and didn't mind people drinking, it was just something she was never interested in.

    Course that relationship broke down as while people don't need a drink to have fun, if one person is drunk and the other sober, even a couple of times a month, it does put a strain on the relationship and you feel like you don't have any sort of connection.
    Mpg and MicahcHudgins like this.
  4. eveliner

    eveliner Senior Contributor

    Not really much since I wouldn't keep in touch with them at all. I remember that I used to keep a fairly big distance between me and them and isolate myself from the world generally when drinking alcohol, so they really didn't have the chance of telling me I should stop, nor had I got the chance of actually arguing with them.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Alcohol is destroying my relationship with my partner. I love him to pieces and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for that man but I am not getting the same feelings back. He chooses alcohol over me and our time together time and time again. A part of me has been taken away that I may never get back. I use to enjoy a drink every once in awhile but since all of this I don't even want to drink. He becomes somebody I don't even know and don't even like when he is drunk. When sober he is my man, the one I fell in love with but the bad days are coming more and more often so something has to be done. I can't continue to live the life that I am living. It is too hard physically and emotionally on me. I need to take care of me.
    MicahcHudgins and MrsJones like this.
  6. btalivny

    btalivny Active Contributor

    Alcohol has ruined a friendship which my friend had with our group. It was very depressing to watch as you realized she was being pulled deeper into addiction and would simply not admit it. It was extremely obvious and she knew it was, but she made no effort to fight the addiction.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  7. MrAmazingMan1

    MrAmazingMan1 Active Contributor

    Really my biggest problem is with trusting my girlfriend when she is drunk. People are known to make stupid mistakes under the influence, and when I am not there, sober, to guide her, things could go horribly wrong. And she likes to drink so I really have to take care of her.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  8. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    My husband's drinking was okay until he started drinking too much, like beginning at the break of day. Even though he was fun to be with times started spiraling downward and fast, too fast for me. It wasn't fun anymore because he started doing stupid stuff and didn't remember what he did. One-sided arguments, lack of responsibility, personal hygiene, etc. like he just didn't care and expected me to take care of everything while he 'played.' A lot of resentment built up not to mention the hurt and disrespect I felt. Yeah, the witches' brew was boiling hot in my veins.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  9. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    As far as my love life? It was horrible. It's either I was too violent or she was. It was never a good situation when we were out drinking. Something has to come up and turn the night sour. But I have to admit, when it was bad, it was really bad, but there were bright spots as well.

    Best to just be happy with each other naturally, and not half baked on foreign substance.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  10. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    I have been the partner of someone with a severe alcohol addiction. It really did completely destroy our relationship. I was quite young when this occurred (in my late teens), and he was 8 years older than me. It eventually reached a point where I felt completely out-of-my-depth and I realized I needed to end the relationship. I was not the most mature 19 year old and it was far too much for me to handle. I was lucky that I was able to seek the support of my parents in making this decision.

    The weight of ending that relationship and not being there for him weighed heavily on my mind for many years (and still does). I think if I were in the same position today, now in my late 20's, I would be better equipped to deal with it. Of course I would't wish that experience on anyone however.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  11. stridee

    stridee Active Contributor

    While alcohol has not particularly affected my relationship, I know of someone whose relationship has been affected by alcohol. It resulted in a separation between the two because of one person being an alcoholic. That person was abusive and mistreated his significant other. The weight of ending the relationship was always in their minds and eventually they just broke. The alcohol just got to the alcoholic and caused him to take his relationship for granted.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  12. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Words. You never can take them back once they are uttered. This is what breaks up most relationships where one person is an alcoholic. If both are alcoholics they'll find ways to patch things up because both will say things they'll might regret but will have forgotten about the next morning.

    Because alcoholics will want to spend most of their free time drinking they'll have little time for their loved ones and slowly, they'll start drifting apart.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  13. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    That is so true. The very nature of alcoholism lends itself to lies as well, just like any addiction. That is one of the hardest things. You love this person but you begin to realize you can't trust anything that they say. It is no fun for the addict either as no one really wants to be lying about something they are sometimes desperately trying to dig themselves out of.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  14. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    I'm not an alcoholic. But I know a few people who are. Its really changed my relationships with them. It changed their personality and our friendship. Its unfortunate but I know a lot of people go through the same thing.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  15. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Alcohol didn't affect my life that much. Though I was a heavy drinker before, I still managed to attend all my college classes and I have not failed any of my subjects. I was also an organization officer at my university and received a full scholarship. I was still a highly functioning heavy drinker.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  16. Aescopri

    Aescopri Active Contributor

    I've never drank (I'm fifteen), but my parents do. As the other side of this relationship, I can easily tell you that it did hurt our relationship a lot. Since I threatened them and called smoking "cancer in a bottle" (yes, I do feel really bad for that now), they felt more distanced from me and vice versa.
    Drinking damages your relationships. There is no way to honey-coat it.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  17. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I was never a drinker, but my parents were... My mom used to say really cruel things to my sister when she was drunk, she didn't pay attention to us at all and other few 'little' things that I still remember, but luckily she doesn't drink anymore, but my dad still does sometimes... And that doesn't really affects me, but it's clearly affecting his relationship with my mom.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  18. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    I remember when I was really young my real father would drink bottles of beer. He would drink them around me and my big brother but he never acted aggressive towards us when he drank. My step dad on the other hand is the one with the alcoholic addiction and it ruins everything. Now he's kicked out the house and my younger siblings miss him.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  19. MrAmazingMan1

    MrAmazingMan1 Active Contributor

    That's tough to deal with, I am sorry to hear that.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.
  20. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    I would say it is tougher for my siblings than it is for me since they are still young. I'm really starting to think there might be a pattern to the types of men my mom gets.
    MicahcHudgins likes this.