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How Did/Do People React to Your Addiction?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Ali16, Aug 30, 2015.

  1. Ali16

    Ali16 Senior Contributor

    When I first disclosed to my parents that I was struggling with an addiction they were completely nonsupportive. Their solution was to increase how often they yelled at me, basically. All it did was increase my stress level and I engaged in addictive behaviors more and more. I ended up telling them I'd stopped, just to get the yelling to stop, and continuing in secret for years. Was your family supportive of your recovery from addiction? If they weren't, how did you handle it?
  2. Owlwright

    Owlwright Member

    That must be really tough. Especially when someone is addicted, having a support system is one of the most important and stabilising things.
    My parents were really supportive, they tried to figure out plans with me, and looked at different ways od treatment.
    They were a bit disappointed at first, but I managed to tell them how and why I ended up doing this and they understood.
    I was so relieved it was one of the hardest things I ever did.
  3. pstrong1969

    pstrong1969 Community Champion

    Most people dont understand addiction. Your parents must not have noticed your behaviour from addiction. Have you been hiding it well? Once your addictive behavour becomes there problem they will take notice. I hope you can seek help before it gets that bad. Because by that time you will be out of control.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    My family was far from supportive. My old man was an alcoholic. It [his addiction] placed him in a position where he could neither offer support nor any advice. Drink wine and preach water. Wouldn't be all that convincing, right?

    And my brother was an addict too . . .
  5. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Most people in my life knew, I think. They knew I wasn't the same me that I used to be - and they were all very supportive to see me wanting to get sober. I think that made them happy - the knowledge that despite my indiscretions I wanted help and support meant that they also saw a light at the end of the tunnel.
  6. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I am so sorry to hear you had such a bad experience with your parents, that sounds so awful! I hope things are better for you now! How did you manage to quit without any help or support form your parents? It must have taken you so much courage and strength to do that on your own.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Ali16 I am sorry to hear that you didn't have the support of your family when you disclosed your addiction. I am sure that they noticed before then what was going on but they were in denial but once you came out and told them about it then they had to face up to it and admit it. Instead of supporting you it sounds like they started blaming you and yelling at you. Maybe they felt guilty but didn't want to blame themselves in anyway so they lashed out at you.
    It is hard to say what goes on in people's heads. It must have been a very difficult time for you! I am glad that in spite of it all you were able to get your life clean.
  8. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Sounds like you had a really tough time. I don't think your folks took the right approach by yelling at you. All it did was cause you to lie to them about your addiction. Fortunately, my parents where supportive although quite unhappy about my addiction problem. They were very patient with me and helped me through the recovery process, I consider myself very fortunate that they were by my side.
  9. Rory

    Rory Active Contributor

    I'm really sorry to hear about that experience. Some families are there to help you in your time of need, and other families seem to think that you should always be okay, without requiring any help. I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive family who helped me in my time of need. I can't imagine how difficult my recovery would have been without them.
  10. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    These days while addiction is increasingly more common, people still don't know how to react when they are confronted with a friend or family member that has a problem.

    I think most people will try and be supportive, but at the same time tend to keep them at arms length, as they're not sure how to handle the situation.
  11. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Oh boy great parents. Yeah you have to really know people well to be able to tell what you can share. The judgementals you can forget it. They just invite lies with this kind of behavior. I think that people get mad about something because the have a strong belief against something. It is not about you, but about what they are against. No reason to get angry or lie. People need to learn how to manage their passions and being passionately against something has more anger than the other way, obviously.
  12. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I guess you really don't have any other choice than making it appear that you have stopped already so that they will quit yelling at you. I think that having a solid support system is crucial for recovering addicts, so you should have tried looking for a support group that can give you the support you need since your family is not suppportive.
  13. deewanna

    deewanna Senior Contributor

    It can be really devastating to have a family who do not support you. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I didn't have friends and family who supported me. I don't think I would have made it. Their support and love was a great source of motivation and strength for me.
  14. Zimbitt

    Zimbitt Senior Contributor

    Lol yeah basically the same reaction as everyone else, unless you have gone through it or are really well versed in the concept then you wouldn't understand addiction. They all kind of shrug it off and see it as beneath them, I tend not to tell anyone now a days and keep it a secret about my past.
  15. Darkbloom

    Darkbloom Member

    I abused opiates, but managed to get of them after a short struggle when I saw what havoc they wreaked on my brain. I actually never told anyone, and have since confessed it to a few friends, who knew something was up, but who didn't want to pry about it. The reaction was usually concern, to the degree that they worried and handled me with a touching AND annoying degree of concern. They thought that any amount of alcohol, even a glass of wine, might be enough for me to lose all self-possession and run of to binge. My parents never found out since I was at the University.
  16. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I never had a serious addiction problem. I used to be a heavy drinker but my parents didn't know a thing about it. I often experience depression and anxiety issues as well, and my family doesn't have any idea about them. I am pretty good in hiding secrets, I guess. However, I know that if I fall down, my family would be there to support me through it all.
  17. LindaSuzanne

    LindaSuzanne Active Contributor

    My story is a bit different as I am a parent of an addict so I will give you the other side of the coin.

    When my son started displaying erratic behaviour he was around 16. This was the age he began taking heroin. I just thought it was down to puberty and pushed it to the back of my mind. I really didn't have a clue about drugs or addiction. I had dabbled when I was young but nothing to this extent.

    I remember the day I found out, two police officers coming to my house about a string of thefts when he was around 18 and they informed me that he had been stealing to support his drug habit. He had been stealing from me too but I was stunned when they arrested him as I had no idea he had been taking heroin. I remember sitting there afterwards and just crying and crying until I couldn't any more. It was just unthinkable that this little boy that I had raised was now a drug addict. I was so naive too. I told him we would fight it together and when he told me he was clean not long after I believed him.

    Many years down the road, lots of tears pain and anger plus a prison sentence, I realise what a long journey it has been. No one can ever prepare you for the news that your beautiful child is about to turn into someone you don't know. I know that many parents will identify with this.