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how did my meth overdose get mistreated

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by brokenlostalienated, May 9, 2018.

  1. want to to share my story and write this out for my sake of sanity and to save anyone else that needed clarity of similar situations and to seek help for not just myself but life long partner. With doing so I feel only comfortable changing names for our safety.

    hello my name is Maria and i am 29 years old , mother of 3 beautiful children. Two of which share same father and my youngest son is the current man I am married to .
    My part in this is .. Well I never really caught a break in life. My childhood upbringing was serverly ***ked up . Abandonment, sexual abused , neglected, alienated from family. My parents were drug addicts themselves, of all kinds but it gradually led them to heroine . I witnessed a lot of drug use , been to places as a child to things I thought were norms . I lost my father to an overdose and that's when that opened my eyes .
    I spent years in and out of foster homes and tbh this f**cked me up more , sexual abuse happened in care and when I got back to living w my mom is when I got addicted to weed than ecstasy. I couldn't help but wonder why I never knew who I was and wat direction to go in life . I was easily persuade into different drugs. it was because only my childhood was controlled by ministry it stole my identity. I understand my circumstances of trauma and why but being back and forth between different foster homes having visits w my mom where she would bail due to her heroin addiction . My life is messed I get that but than to now should be no reason why I was alienated, my mother would incraved AA & NA to me . The more pressure the more I wanted to use. anyhow I got 4 almost 5 years clean off alcohol and meth . When it boiled down to it my mom slufffed me off like it wasn't a big deal. I hated myself for looking for approvals.
    . My nightmare!
    so I had my own place and life seemed good I was clean had no more ministry involvement I was active in my community . Me and my partner dreamed of this life when we suffered in our addiction homeless and we finally were living it. Well he ended up continuously relapsing and this was him taking off and one last one he tried committing suicide and ended up in a bad collision, where his leg was deteriated his muscle on both sides of leg . He was in a severe condition which included. Loss of muscle and had skin grafts , multiple times , a brain injury which emerg had to induce him with a comma died from his accident. No one knew cause he didn't have ID OR cell phone . This was cause some fu*Ken idiot sold him bath salts and he went to suicide. He survived. But what boggles me cause I just realized his medical treatment while the release time they never told me anything of signs from withdrawals or several signs from his induced comma .
    and no support as why he would be declined from disability for being able to seek the trauma he encountered still unspoken.

    me just recently have been addicted to meth again after long term clean time. My life started getting unmanageable things that were out of my control and my family all made me the black sheep . I had my sibling over for support and this was bad cause we both were still in addiction first time ever using this D.O.C to
    together. Went sour . Our childhood memories and our struggles were facing led to me attempted to confronted on this personal level of why sexual abuse. We almost physically. Fought until I ran into a room and pouring about a gramm or more into water and shoot drinking it .
    20minutes it reacted w uncontrollable shaking throughout my entire body including erratic shifty version. i briefly remember any of it. But no one seemed to care. 7hrs of uncertainty of delusional and talking wierd nodding off . I was finally brought to hospital and still shaking. Only thing i wondering why

    my over dose went un medically taken care of. No outside support or records of me overdosing . None of my family stuck by me or contacts me which led to me that everyone i ever knew didn't want me to live.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @brokenlostalienated hello and welcome. thanks for reaching out here.

    i'm so sorry for what you've had to endure through your life. you did not deserve to grow up in such a dysfunctional home and then abuse.... it's no wonder you turned to drugs yourself to try to bury all that pain....

    i don't have an answer to your question. that's something you'd have to take up with the hospital i suppose. regarding your family, perhaps they all have their own very real problems... no way to know.

    i'm sorry you feel lost and broken and alienated. one of my best friends happened to have a family that were not healthy enough to be there for her, and though it hurt her a lot, she made friends in her community and those friends have been her family for over 30 years. she found her "tribe" so to speak, and made deep connections with a handful of people that share life together. through the good and bad.... those that are healthy and conscious enough to be able to love without conditions.

    are you able to find a couple people that you can connect with like that? friends who are healthy and non-drug users?

    also, do you have plan to get back into recovery? when you got clean before, how did you do so?

    hope you'll write back. we really do care about you and want to see you recover mind, body, and spirit.
    True concern likes this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I feel terrible this one's a bit much as it touches on a subject i can't deal with.
  4. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I encourage you to look around the site for my post and God Bless you,i am so so sorry we are here for you....If it takes me all day i will supply you with something but at this moment i am totally enraged after reading about certain aspects of your story.I do care but i must calm my soul before i can offer more.Stat Strong and God Bless
    Dominica likes this.