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How Do I Help My Uncles To Stop?

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by thomas carty, Nov 9, 2014.

  1. thomas carty

    thomas carty Member

    I have two uncles that are really addicted to marijuana and they are always arguing and more and more I am starting to think that it is because of it. I was wondering I have tried showing them how much it is destroying them but they just do not listen to me and at times they look at me like I am talking nonsense.

    How could I get them both to really see how it is destroying their lives?
  2. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    The first major thing that you have to do is pray. Realization is a self-experience, although you try to guide their eyes it will still be their will that decides. Keep reminding them though that marijuana, when abused, destroys lives.
  3. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Did you know them well before they were addicted? If so you might want to talk about how they have changed since they became addicted. They are definitely in denial, and only they can decide to admit they have a problem, but reminding them that things used to be different before the drugs could help them start thinking about what it is actually doing in their lives.
    stariie likes this.
  4. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is really hard to tell or give warning to the elders of the family especially if they are closed minded. I do have uncles who are alcoholics and they never listen to any words I said. Agree that best you can do is pray and also talk to other elders if they can do something about it.
  5. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Although you want to help your uncles, it is important that you do not get consumed by their situation. That won't help anyone. It will be like 3 people are addicted, not just 2. Your own self-care is important.

    No matter how much we want someone else to change, they will not change until they are ready. As others have said here, keep them in your prayers. You might have to take a step back, and let life deal with them for awhile, then they might decide to quit.
  6. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Unfortunately I don't think it's very easy to get people who are older than you to listen. Often they are already set in their ways and it's hard for them to listen to others of the same age and much less people who they see as having less experience. I think you should first try and talk to them and hear about the whole story first so you can be sure of what you are getting into. If they see that you are hearing them out first before preaching to them then you might have a better chance of getting through to them.
  7. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    I dont think that yo could get through to them by yourself. A good way to make them notice is to video them in action and make them watch it back. Let them know that it affects you and show them how they look. You should get someone else to help you and if you live with them then it is important for you to find a safe haven that you can be secure in.
  8. terrainna

    terrainna Member

    Instead of talking to them about the addiction, try talking with them. People will ultimately make their own decisions regardless of your efforts to steer them in the right direction. Try finding out why they choose to abuse marijuana. Could it be to mask something that they may be going through internally? That might be your golden ticket to get through to them.
  9. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    I can relate. I have uncles who are alcoholics and every family function is tense. You just have to focus on you right now. No matter what you say they will only change when they want to or when they are ready. You might want to tell them how you feel, but don't be hurt if they just ignore it.
  10. I suggest you notify the other members of your family of your uncles' substance abuse problems and discuss the idea of having a meeting in which your family can get together and discuss drug abuse rehabilitation.
  11. Saraldra

    Saraldra Member


    It is highly unlikely that your uncles will be able to curb their addiction on their own. Having the support and encouragement of the family behind them will hopefully motivate them to end their addiction.
  12. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I would suggest that you get someone more older than yourself or someone in authority to have a talk with them and see their reaction.May be they view your advice with scorn given you're younger than them.But i must commend you for pointing it to them the perils they are exposing themselves to.
  13. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Well they more than likely will never blame it on the marijuana. Probably they say they need it to tolerate the other. They are on it so I'm pretty sure they won't listen to you. Seems to grip some people. They'd be more apt to place blame on alcohol that mari j.
    Even if they stopped. There would be withdrawal for them to deal with. I don't know it might be hard for them. People who "want" and need something like this are often belligerent about it. Which, is how they are acting towards each other. Warlike and argumentative. Behavioral problems. Neurosis, psychosis issues are probably laced within their arguments. Out of touch with the fact that what you are saying is the truth and quite obvious. This is all of what goes along with smoking weed. Weed smokers never put this together. Couldn't possibly blame a plant.
    I don't know. Give them as much info as you can find. Maybe just say it plainly that they should just try an experiment for 3 months and go weed free. This is all you can try really. Sometimes the harder you try the more you drive them into the addiction.
  14. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Unfortunately they will not be able to see this, they have to experience it for themselves. Most users hit a rock bottom stage where only then do they notice a problem. You could sit them both down and let them know that you are upset and do not like it and that you do feel that it is a problem and that they are not being good role models for you, that might get them to pay attention, hopefully it does.
  15. rjs5248

    rjs5248 Member

    Unless someone realizes they have a problem, they will not change. It doesn't seem like your uncles think they have a problem. If you have sat them both down and explained to them how it is straining your relationship with them and they still continue to use, then you need to back off. At this point, they are just going to see you as a nag and will continue to block you out. Once you have made your point and they do not listen the first time, future attempts will likely be futile.

    Keep an open line of communication, but after you have that conversation with them, it's time to let it go or you risk alienating them completely.
  16. FenWoFon

    FenWoFon Active Contributor

    Well, when it comes to relatives, there is not much you can do since you should actually take care of your own business unless it affects you in any way, if so all yo ucould do is talk to them and make them think about what they currently do, make the munderstand that what they are doing is bad for themselves and could somehow get them killed, try it, it is all I could tell.
  17. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    You can't do anything because they are grown ups and they need to decide for themselves. All you can do is tell them that you think they have a problem and then walk away. Let them know that you have told them your part and it is up to them to get help. They might just realize that someone cares enough about them that they are willing to get clean.
  18. danjon

    danjon Senior Contributor

    You can't really force the issue when it comes to getting someone to face up to their addictive behavior. You just have to be persistent and consistent. When they're ready to acknowledge their truth they'll do so; until then, you just have to stay strong and be there for them.
  19. juoppi

    juoppi Member

    I have an uncle who was addicted to marijuana. He has a nice family, a good company and a daughter so he has so much to live for and be happy for but instead he used his new wealth and spare time just for marijuana.

    At first he started using it just for stress relief because growing a company and hoping that you're gonna make it really is stressful but later he just couldn't stop. He didn't really need to work as he just runs the company so it didn't affect him financially but it did mentally. He really didn't really care about anything important anymore. He just wanted to smoke and watch TV or play FIFA or just chill with his buddies or whatever. So you can say that he basically turned into a vegetable. He just existed, no passion, no happyness. It ofcourse lead to a lot problems inside the family and he gained a lot of weight. The moment he realized he had a problem was when his wife told her that she's moving in with her parents because this isn't an environment to raise a kid in. Since then he doesn't smoke anymore, atleast not more than a few times a month, and he works out regularly. He's lost about 15kg so I'm really proud of him.

    Anyway the point of my story is that when an addicted person faces a choice between drugs and something really valuable to them, there's a really good chance it brings them back. Just threats or talking to them or threathening them doesn't work if they're really lost contact with reality. When they see that there's a real chance of losing something, they'll take action.