We are a low income family. We are always going pay check to pay check and bill to bill. Any time we have a little extra money, I'm so quick to give into my husband. To give him $10, $20, $40 to get a little something to smoke. I'm the bread winner and he's the stay at home parent, just in case you wonder why I'm saying I give him the money. I also control the finances so I know when we have "extra" money. How do you be the bad guy and tell someone you love that you aren't giving them any money even though its extra and we don't need it? It's hard because I know it helps him. His personality is so different.... Better if you will. I almost want to say it's hard to "deal" with him when he's not got something in his system.