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How do you cope with Christmas?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Cheeky_Chick, Nov 25, 2015.

  1. Cheeky_Chick

    Cheeky_Chick Community Champion

    So, Christmas is coming up, and I always struggle at this time of year thanks to the fact that most people expect you to be drinking to excess.

    I am a little bit worried about how I will say no to alcohol. It's fine with my family because they understand, but what about when I am with friends or colleagues who don't know about my past? How can I say no without them suspecting something?

    I would love to hear about your tips and to see if you have any better ways of coping than I do.
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think a lot depends on where you are and who your with. If your with family or close friends then they'll understand when you decline a drink, or if you do have 1 or 2, they'll know not to offer you a 3rd as they'll be aware of your situation.

    For anybody else, the ones who don't know about the problem, you should just simply be able to say no, you don't want one, but if people feel uncomfortable refusing, then you can always just say your on antibiotics and can't drink. A little white lie in those circumstances is acceptable I think.
  3. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Well these days, it seems like fewer and fewer people are drinking, and those that do, don't necessarily drink to excess. I really don't think anyone will say anything if you are not imbibing. Just carry some sparkling water around with you, that will look like champagne. I bet no one will question it, and if they are rude enough to, just say you are not drinking you don';t have to go into details.
  4. sefirozu

    sefirozu Member

    It sounds simple to just say no, but the fact is that there are many social situations where drinking is expected, and you'll be frowned upon if you don't. In my case, it was this kind of situations that led me to drink in excess in the first place. The key here is to get away from the people who would insist that you drink. They are a destructive part of your life. Even if it means losing a job, keeping these people in your life will make you miserable, or in the worst case, drink again.
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Christmas can be a terrible time of year when you love with an alcoholic. I remember last Christmas he started drinking two weeks before Christmas and he never sobered up once until a week into the new year. It was awful. Every time we went to visit people he was drunk. I was so embarrassed. It was just terrible. He was even drunk when I had my family over for Christmas dinner. I cried through the entire holidays. This year should be so much better. Christmas is a difficult time for so many especially when alcohol is involved.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I don't know why Christmas should give you anxiety. It shouldn't. It's the happiest time of the year after all. If you want to drink, then drink. However, learn how to control yourself and when to say no. Drink without forgetting your personal, moral and emotional responsibilities. Set the limits and avoid getting carried away. You don't have to please people. Just be the way you always have been and enjoy the moments without the unnecessary pressures.
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    This could help:

    - Stay away from anyone who will be drinking heavily.
    - Focus on other things when people are drinking. Retreat to another room. Play a video game or do something else you enjoy until the cravings pass.
    - Why don't you want to drink? List the reasons down and have the list with you at all times. Any time you feel like you'll fall, take a look at your list. This could be the anchor you need.
    - Say NO.
  8. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Christmas and other festivities are hard times, but can also mean winds of change. There is always someone who doesn't drink, so we can hang around with them while the night goes by.
  9. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Well, I have now become more of a social drinker, and even though there's a lot of temptations around me, I could already handle it pretty well. I now know how to practice self-control. And I think that's the best thing for you to do during these occasions. Always know your limitations, or as much as possible, avoid social situations that would just trigger you to drink excessively.
  10. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    Though a word can change this, for me Christmas is the worst part of the year along with few other dates. I feel really lost and scared, even hurt by some knowledge i have. But these are some private stuff and when it comes to alcohol on Christmas i think if i do not end up with some friends i would not have any problems with it. Maybe a glass or two, and it is a day as any other for me. If i live by myself and not in my parents house i would probably drink, write, read and listen to some good music. I feel depressed when these dates come to agenda.
  11. Just Another Shallow Man

    Just Another Shallow Man Active Contributor

    I spend it with my family and nobody drinks heavily. The only drink is usually my mom's homemade Ponche Crema, which is not very alcoholic and is just really really tasty. Other than that, we don't drink much at all, other than some wine with certain meals and champagne during New Year's Eve, but everything in rather small amounts. Don't even get a little bit tipsy.
  12. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    That's fortunate from you Another Man because in my family there is always a group of relatively heavy drinkers so it's so easy to sit by them and drink too...
  13. hwarren

    hwarren Member

    This is such a hard question. I avoid these dates like the plague. Maybe we should start local groups at Christmas for times like this and have gatherings that avoid alcohol and other substances....
  14. mayasupernova

    mayasupernova Active Contributor

    Well, depends which kind of people you are going to be surrounded with on the Christmas day. I supposed if it is your family,like you stated, they would understand that you do not want to drink any alcohol. If the people around you are your friends, well, if they were your real friends, I guess they would have to understand, too. If not, why would you still be hanging out with them?
    Anyways, even if it happens you are surrounded by people who are not aware of your history with alcohol addiction, if it is a problem for you to say no to drinks, perhaps instead of reaching for some strong alcoholic drink, you can opt for something that either has little or no alcohol in it. Maybe some fruit cocktail, or anything similar...Or you could just say no, you would be fine with juice or some fuzzy drink instead. You can always say you have already had some drinks at home or find some other similar excuse. :)
  15. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    If you don't want to drink, tell people in advance. Or just say no when offered alcohol. Might it be hard to do that? Absolutely. But if you want to stay sober, you have to do hard things. What's more important? Staying sober, or what someone else might think of you for not drinking alcohol? Lastly, if you're in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, just leave.
  16. ChaseHayden

    ChaseHayden Member

    It's important to see the big picture of these events.. As you mentioned your past, I suspect you enjoy it being in the past rather than present. Also, I've noticed since I've stopped drinking, everyone around me wasn't really drinking as much as I thought, not even close.. It causes a sort of illusion, it really isn't as necessary, especially during the holidays. You'll be able to retain much more and believe it or not interact a lot more, not to mention, what better than to have a designated driver, and or in tact person around in case of emergency. Lastly, and most importantly, after being able to avoid drinking at these times and events feels like a million pats on the back at the end of them, and people respect somebody that has the will and courage to avoid something that has almost become a societal obligation.
  17. iga

    iga Member

    I find it rough because I feel inadequate at the time. Feeling another year ending and no improvements in my life, nothing to show for it as I slowly waste away. Which of course makes me a bit of a bummer to be around, so I would rely on alcohol to give me the boost I needed, the confidence and "don't give a crap" attitude to be charismatic and feel like I was good enough for other people. Which of course made me overconfident and drink more and more until I wake up too embarrassed to show my face and beginning the cycle anew. I try to be a very polite person so I don't over indulge on anything that is a gift or shared, so I force myself to abstain by not having my own to access. Although it does get very difficult avoiding the urge to run out and get some or to give in and take more than is appropriate for your share. Not my proudest moments hiding in a bathroom drinking stolen or hidden booze.
  18. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I try and buy my own alcohol and put it in place I only know and only use the alcohol which I will drink and also have a few drinks a few times in the week during the Christmas season and try and eat something which can help me digest the food and enjoy the drinks and food I have. It is important to tell family who can understand what you want and also try and be cautious as it can be a time where we can drink, and do it over the limit as it can be a time to unwind after a busy and tough year. It is a time where we need to see if we can get discounts on foods or alcoholic beverages as the prices can be higher or lower depending on the time, and also the week since the times can change from anytime and hope that we can spend wisely.
  19. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I agree with it being fairly dependent on who you're with. When I'm with what I deem my "inner circle", no one says anything, and to be honest most people don't drink themselves either because they know where I've been when it comes to alcohol. Sometimes though when it comes to other social events over the festive season, people will do the "oh go on, one won't hurt" or really push the issue of why I'm not drinking. As a woman I think a lot of people assume you might be pregnant or trying for a baby, so I have that in my favor. A lot of the time I'll just say I'm the designated driver and that usually ends with "well you're so considerate - your friends are lucky to have you!" and then it's case closed.

    If they keep pushing and pushing I just tell them the truth. If anything I think it lets people know not to be so pushy with trying to force alcohol onto people.
  20. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Drinking in excess is a big concern this time of year with all of the celebrations going on. I too worry about people who drink to much, especially when I am sharing the road with them. All I can say is be safe and stay at home at night as much as you can.