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How do you help someone quit?

Discussion in 'Tobacco / Nicotine' started by Devonne, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. Devonne

    Devonne Member

    How do you talk to your parents who have been smoking for 20+ years now about their health. I am very concerned about my parents. They smoke 2 packs each a day in a house where no windows are open and not even a fan is on. My mother has a couple lumps (don't remember the exact term) on one of her lungs and they are going to be checking for cancer her in less than a month. I know the doctor has talked to her and I've attempted a few times, as I don't want to nag because I know she knows this isn't healthy, but she refuses. My mom says things like "this is my only entertainment" or "I don't have money for any other hobbies" and I just sit there and want to scream at her because she is literally burning up money as they smoke expensive brands. Has anyone else went through this? I know it's her life but I don't want to lose my mom and I know my son doesn't want to lose his grandparents. Is there a way to go about it without me seeming like I'm just attacking her?
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    It's always going to be difficult to make somebody stop smoking. They're going to have to want to stop themselves, and if they've been smoking for a long time, they might not have the desire or the willpower to do that.

    All you can do is tell them your opinion, and hope they take it on board. If you nag them about it, it might work the other way and make them determined not to stop. At the end of the day, people don't like being told what to do.
  3. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    You should make her realise the consequences. Lately most companies brand their cigarettes packets with warning messages. Does she assume all these? Talk to her friends if they can help. Have you talked to your relatives? Maybe she might listen. Just continue to be praying for her.
  4. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    My heart goes out to you, the situation sounds horrible the way you describe it. I truly hope everything is ok with your mom, I hate this stupid smoking addiction, those who say the companies who make that crap are not to blame, at least a little, are crazy. They need to print even more graphic images on the boxes... images that show what smoking does to people... more adds showing that kind of images are needed as well. I bet we'd have less smokers!

    As for your parents... I'm so sorry, but there is not much you can do. It sounds like they are both set in their ways...plus addcits need to want to quit on their own in order to actually quit. You can try telling them everything you want, but odds are they won't listen. I'm so sorry! But have you tried buying her nicotine gum?? There are med therapies for smokers that need the extra help too...
  5. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Whilst they may never quit, it will improve the air quality at home no end if they only smoked outdoors. When you're sitting in a room where you've just had a cig, you continue to breathe in your own second hand smoke, which lingers in the air for some time.
  6. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Ahhh, this is the million dollar question. I think if you break it down on a psychological level, everyone's motivators for smoking in the first place, and also quitting if they get to that point, are different. Some people smoke to relax. Some people smoke to be social. Some people smoke because it's simply habitual after all that time. And why do people quit? Sometimes it's when they have kids. Sometimes it's a major life change. Sometimes it's a financial thing - they can't afford cigarettes anymore so are forced into cutting down/quitting as a result. It all varies.

    I think the points you made to us though were very emotional. You mentioned you don't want to be seen as attacking her - have you tried telling her exactly what you told us? That you're truly scared to death of losing them and also having your child grow up not really knowing his grandparents? For me, the emotion of that would encourage me to try and quit. If she mentions entertainment, perhaps suggest alternatives that are similarly priced to a packet of cigarettes or two. A movie ticket? A DVD rental? A magazine or book to read? Even getting out and walking outside and enjoying nature (free!!!)

    I hope things work out for the better!
  7. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is difficult to force someone to stop smoking especially if she do not mind her own health. Maybe try to make her realize that she is not just endangering her health but the loved ones around her when she is smoking. Also try telling her how much you care for her.
  8. Totalarmordestine

    Totalarmordestine Senior Contributor

    Use nicorette or some type of nicotine gum. Chewing gum provides a much similar feeling and allows for users to slowly phase out dependency on nicotine. I found smokeless tobacco harder to quit than cigarettes, but it varies with anyone. Just think about how much money you will be saving when you quit.
  9. tarverten

    tarverten Senior Contributor

    You can't get them to quit, they have to be the one to want to. It's a habit like smoking drinking.. and like any other bad habit the person with the habit has to be the one to want to stop. I knew someone who smoked cigars, and pipe plus drank and chewed tobacco. Do to health reasons he stopped drinking and smoking. But not the chewing. It was a very nasty habit. Since it's a chewing habit. Try telling him to chew gum instead.
  10. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    I think you should add something to that person's tobacco that taste horrible so that they associate that taste with it and don't chew it anymore. I don't believe it is as difficult as quitting smoking, and the only side effects would be withdrawl, but that is so much better than mouth cancer.
  11. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    Find some pictures on the internet of people that have had their mouths, lips, throats, teeth, gums.. Ravaged after years of dipping. You know the really gross pictures.

    Go down to kinkos and make huge colour copies.. poster size.. of the pictures.

    Take the posters and pin them up everywhere in their house when they're out running errands.

    When they get home they will be shocked.. And you know when you look at those pictures that grossness never leaves your mind.
  12. seatones

    seatones Member

    Convincing someone to quit something has to be one of the hardest things to do. I know i've never personally had much luck with it, and it seems to usually come down to a decision that they have to make for themselves. If you really find it necessary, the best thing to do is to try to consistently communicate how much it is effecting everyone else. If they passed on, your son would lose his grandparents which I'm sure they don't want. Finding ways to make sure they are aware of this would be smart and would probably strike a deep chord with them. You could try to convince them to switch to different methods of nicotine intake such as vapor or gum. I've seen a lot of heavy smokers switch to vapor pretty seamlessly and the act of vaporizing somewhat mimics the act of smoking. This would at least make their home a healthier place because they wouldn't be inhaling the smoke consistently in the air.
  13. lexieb112

    lexieb112 Member

    I feel your pain, my grandfather recently passed away due to smoking. Both of my parents smoke as well, tell them you just want the best for them. They might think negatively of you for a short time but in the long run you saved them. Take notice of them not smoking when they decide to quit. Encouragement helps everyone out!
  14. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    Loving them is the best you can do. Try as much as possible to show them that what they're doing is harmful to themselves and those around him, let him/her recognize what they're doing is actually bad and very sad. They have to recognize they have a problem first. I love them and support them till they actually find something more fulfilling in life.
  15. katherine25

    katherine25 Senior Contributor

    My dad smokes and I try everyday to get him to quit. You cant make someone do something, they have to want to do it themselves but just reminding them everyday how much you love and need them around is a good place to start.