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How do you seperate yourself from triggers?

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by ninjatael, May 18, 2015.

  1. ninjatael

    ninjatael Member

    My worst triggers at my current stage right now are my friends. Every time I hang out with them we smoke and I realize this is awful for me to do when I'm trying to stop. I'm basically just wondering how other people here were able to either cope with or change their social life so that it doesn't incorporate smoking. I think the simple answer here is stop hanging out with the friends that smoke. The only problem is these friends are ones that I have built a solid bond with and to just cut off contact cold-turkey would be devastating to me. Not to mention the fact I would have no one else considering the fact I've spent the past few years of my life building up my social community around other users. I guess I'm just in a really large dilemma and I need help. Hope other people looking for help with this too.
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I was pretty much in the same boat as you. What I had to do was stay in contact with them, message, phone, internet etc, but just not be around them until I got my head a bit straighter.

    You can't cut your friends off entirely, but its good to step back once in a while and actually ask if these friends are good for you or not.
  3. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    The problem here is you, not them. You know that they are the triggers, but you still want to hang out with them regardless. It's time for you to chose what's more important in your life. You can always get new friends, you only have one life. Tell them how you feel and hopefully they'll understand. If they don't , then they were never friends in the first place.
  4. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I think that is one of the most common triggers, the peers. They tend to influence strongly and some just want to be part of a group. One should really have strong self control and strong mind to avoid these kind of pressures or triggers.
  5. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    You're a notable example of average people who don't really want to smoke weed, but are pressured by their friends to endlessly smoke and have some "fun" with them. It's a vicious circle they get involved in, unfortunately, but... this is how the reality is.
  6. karebear07

    karebear07 Active Contributor

    Sorry to hear about your experience. I know this is a common problem for a lot of people. You want to stop but you still continue your patterns. It is hard to realize but the people you probably hang out right now will most likely not be your friends in the future, if they smoke and continue smoking. You have to make new friends, new pattern and habits in your life to make sure you do not smoke! This way your mind is not associated with the same feelings. Once you are stable enough to know that their actions are not going to influence you, then you can go and hang out with them!
  7. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    I can understand what you are saying. More than likely if you are honest with yourself there are holes in those bonds. Those friendships. I've had friends like what you are saying.
    When I say there are holes in those friendships I mean literally you are lying to yourself about them. They are there for you. They are good friends and they make you feel like they need you. You need them. They are seriously good bonds. But, but I am certain that there are things that they do. Things that they say or something that is not right. You may even be totally oblivious to what I am saying. You might see them in this light that they can do no wrong. Hang out with them and do not participate. Stay sober, stay straight. Do this, and you will see what I am saying. You are clouded by what you are smoking. You don't see what really goes on with them. Trust me. You will gain your will power over the pot or whatever. You will find a different perspective. You may still love your friends and not care, but I am sure that there are less than obvious things that are not right with them. Observing and listening. Paying attention to them. You need them? Of course you do we all need good friends and people to hang out with, this is true. The pot and drugs or whatever creates an illusion of grandeur. I'm sure they are great people, but, just take a step back and look at them sober. There are people to be friends with that don't need things like this. Good genuine people who can be there for you the same way. Talk to you and hang out with you. Just try it. You will see what I am saying.
  8. Jose

    Jose Active Contributor

    This is a very common dilemma, I was there once too. All the people I liked at the time smoked weed, my best friends smoked too, so it wasn't easy for me either. I don't know how other people handled it, and I'm sure you won't like this answer, but what worked for me was finding new friends. I didn't do it cold turkey though, it took me some time to let them go, and I was pretty much by myself for many years after that. They were like my support group, but now I see I made the right choice as I have been progressing a lot, and they are still where I left them. Don't get me wrong I love those guys, and even to this day I consider them the best friends I've ever had, but if you happen to be a little smart, you just can't ignore the fact that you can do better without these friends.
  9. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I don't think that having to choose between your friends and not taking drugs is the right mentality to have, as if you've grown up with these people, just because you don't want to take drugs and they do, doesn't necessarily mean that you have to wash your hands of them.

    It's hard to make new friends, and you could end up very lonely all because you don't have the willpower to say no, because at the end of the day, saying no is all it takes, no matter how hard that might be.