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How does alcoholism affect the non-alcoholics in a family?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by biobrandedarmorzet, Jun 13, 2015.

  1. We all know it has a negative affect, that much is a given. But I'm looking for specifics on the negatives of it.

    What comes to your mind when you first think of families that have at least one constant drinker?
  2. Totalarmordestine

    Totalarmordestine Senior Contributor

    Reason number one, a non-alcoholic surrounded by alcoholics is always due to fail in communication. And obviously because a sober person and a intoxicated person are two different psychological levels. Reason number two, even if a non-alcoholic remains alcohol free aside from the rest of their family, their is always that dawning thought and reminder of alcoholism running through your own family, and regarding to your personal self. Alcoholism is a lifestyle, literally. And most importantly, it can be a powerful addiction next to drugs, if not worse, due to alcohol's constant legal access for consumption.
    henry likes this.
  3. tarverten

    tarverten Senior Contributor

    Alcoholism is a disease of the spirit which can be helped by intention, vigilance and courage. There's no one more selfish that a practicing alcoholic, and everyone in his/her world is affected by bad choices, bad behavior and bad feelings. Children of alcoholics feel that the parent loves the drink more than anything/anyone, and they're right.
  4. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    My dad was an alcoholic and mom was not. She was constantly on edge and worried or afraid when he was seriously drinking because he could be sweet as pie or dangerous as a loaded gun and he had no problem beating anybody up! Us kids did not drink and I have spent a lot of years in therapy thanks to my horribly insane, terrifying and ABUSIVE father. He was a "functional alcoholic" (held jobs, built houses, fixed cars, tremendous intellect, etc.) but, thanks to booze, he was the worst excuse for a human being imaginable!!!
    bfin91 likes this.
  5. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    People who drink can change dramatically. So maybe their change effects the family in a major way.
  6. shadowsupernature

    shadowsupernature Senior Contributor

    It makes it uncomfortable for them to live with them. They start to do things in public that you'd possibly be ashamed of. Not to mention the random moods and potential violence factor that goes along with it.
  7. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I know quite a number of families with drunkards in them. I have observed that when an alcoholic goes home drunk, stress fills the house. Sometimes violence through words or actions come out from the one who is drunk or from the family members of the alcoholic. One thing is for sure, alcoholism never does anything good to a person and to his/her family. It drains the energy and emotions of the people involved and it could be frustrating.
  8. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    My father was an alcoholic and my family suffered from communication issues. When my dad was sad, tired or so on he would just pop in a drink and get drunk until he fell asleep.
    That was his way of coping with his problems - and I understand him - but that really took a toll on our relationship overall.
  9. drc52

    drc52 Active Contributor

    I think this depends entirely on the person drinking. Some people get aggressive, confused and become unpleasant to be around while while drinking. The constant mood swings and hangovers must have some effect on family member regardless of the drinker's personality.
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Most of those families are broken families. I knew several here who have alcoholics fathers and that caused their families to be broken. Most of those alcoholics do not have jobs and are burdens to their families. They are also disturbances in the neighborhood since when they got drunk, they start fights and are very noisy even in the middle of the night.
  11. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I know someone who due to his drinking started stealing from his house, and would even take the bottles or pawn things sometimes for the bottle which was causing tension every day. The father kicked him out as he was a cop, and it was going to affect the status of him, doing this did get rid of the tension and problems in the house sometimes it can be hard to do this. The non drinkers, can suffer with the bills being overdue or food not in the house sometimes due to one person drinking all the time and sometimes it is best to separate from the person as alcohol can take lives or cause more problems.
  12. AAngelo

    AAngelo Senior Contributor

    I'm not sure but non-alcoholics had no problems with alcoholics in my family. My dad can't go to sleep without having a few beers. He used to cook us dinner while drinking a bottle of gin and he would normally come home smelling like a bottle of beer was poured over him. He would usually go straight to bed. He could handle his alcohol really well. I don't know if my parents had any problems but never did I see anything out of the ordinary from them.
  13. Rowe992

    Rowe992 Senior Contributor

    Well the alcoholism of a family member will have an impact on other relatives who care enough about that persons. We can look at it in the case of a parent who is alcoholic and the children of that parent will have to deal with the emotional and psychological effects of what that parent does under the influence.
  14. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Terribly, a family member that abuses alcohol can tear his/her family apart. An acquaintance of mine was an alcoholic but he is no longer around, he passed away from type 1 diabetes caused by his alcoholism. But it was his attitude toward his family that creating massive rifts and those were never remedied while he was alive. He was abusive to his wife and children, only his one son looked after him when his health deteriorated.
  15. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    The first thing coming to my mind is how my childhood was ruined because of my drinking father. He gave Mum a horrible depression, and made me confused (I was only a little child back then). After I grew up and realized what actually happened I erupted and started screaming. That was the time I also started smoking and drinking.
  16. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    First thought that flows my mind now is how sorrowed the respective fellows who live with the respective alcoholic must be to see him in that horrendous condition, probably daily in the worst case scenario. I just can't stand this thought. If it were for me, I would certainly explode due to grief.
  17. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Alcoholism can affect everybody member if the family, not just the person drinking. Sometimes it can be even harder on the rest, as they're the ones that have to deal and cope with everything that the alcoholic can't.

    This could include having to worry about the financial side of life, and also worry about the health of the person who's drinking, and wondering how to get that person out of the addiction.
  18. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Intoxicated people normally do things which offend those they live. Another alcoholic may be willing to forgive and possibly forget slights because they too from time to time offend others which is why a family of alcoholics tends to stay together.

    For someone who doesn't drink, they will find it hard to be always forgiving the alcoholic who does things that annoy them [the non-alcoholic] when they are drunk. And when this person "can't take it anymore" the family breaks up. This is what happen most of the time.
  19. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I grew up in a house where my parents and their friends all drink and did drugs. So I know how this felt. I was in a lot of sports growing up and I really took care of my body. It affected me. I thought it was hypocritical that they would tell me to stay away from the stuff and be successful in school and here they were pissing their life away. I slow turned to alcohol when I got older. Call it what you want. But I think being around it lead me to alcoholism.
  20. Just Another Shallow Man

    Just Another Shallow Man Active Contributor

    There's many ways in which it affects the family. The most horrible one being the possibility of the person becoming violent when drunk, as they release their pent up anger while drunk. This could end up with domestic violence cases, like a previous poster had to suffer (I'm really sorry to hear that, by the way, but I'm glad to hear they're doing well).
    It also causes problems in communication. An alcoholic might decide to just drink the problems away instead of communicating with their family and trying to find a solution. It can also be a completely unecessary money drain (specially for poor families).