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How long would it take you to give your child their freedom back?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by pineywood, Apr 20, 2015.

  1. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    That's nice. My to-be-wife is an Aspie (Aspergers Syndrome) so I know exactly what you mean and I absolutely love her. She's unique and eventhough she's not social and only would spend time with me, I can fairly say she can enjoy what she can, she doesn't have to necessarily be around people a lot.
    pineywood likes this.
  2. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I mean there's no reason to regret if you've already gotten a child. If it happened, it happened and it's not the end of the world. But the worst thing is seeing a child suffering. You know, I come from a family where my grandma had to bury her own 4 children. It's the worst that a parent has to bury his child, while it's common for a child to bury his parent if you know what I mean.
  3. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I am really sorry to hear that, I cannot imagine a worse pain than a parent bury their kids. Ultimately, having kids is a rational choice we make and we have to live with it.
  4. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I guess. If it wasn't for that, I and you wouldn't of been here but still, in this generation, and current situations, it's not that good of an idea to teach to reproduce.
  5. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    The fact is that most people don't reproduce mainly to economic reasons and not because of drugs, most people don't even consider this a big deal.
  6. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    If you completely make it an environment for your kid where they don't have an ounce of freedom, it's not going to be good. They're going to find a way around your rules and regulations and lock up situations to do what they want and rebel even more, and its going to end badly.
  7. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    It's good to take in consideration the environment that we live in and not just economic and financial reasons.
  8. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Yes, but most people wait until they are economically stable before they have kids, that is the majority of cases. It's hard to raise children, it requires a lot of sacrifices.
  9. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    It's a major thing. Absolutely. I wouldn't have children if I wasn't economically stable. But I'm thankful that marriage could be done without the necessity of having children or having really good financial situations. It's not a requirement.
  10. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Both my kids were not predicted, they just happened and we managed even so. Sometimes we need these bumps from live to move forward, those deciding moments life defining.
  11. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    That's absolutely true. Best thing is also not to regret it.
  12. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Regrets will not take us anywhere, we just need to live with what we have and make the best of it because if we start regretting we will be unable to take the best of life.
  13. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    Right. I know I have a lot of regrets and it keeps me down and what you said is encouraging and it's not good to hold unto the past for sure.
  14. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    One of the hardest things I've done it to raise kids, I've been reading a lot to learn and try to be good, but from a certain point on it's their choice really.
  15. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    You make a good point. The fact that it would be their choice. I think they would make great choices and it is guaranteed if they are raised up well enough. People often argue about free will, while free will is shaped around the environment and psychological perception that has been earned. They will not act upon things that you told them was displeasing to you and is bad for their health. If they are shaped the way you shaped them, they will be great.
  16. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    The issue is that we cannot shape them, like the saying, do what I say and not what I do, they learn with our example and from a certain age on from the example of their friends.
  17. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    That's right. Thank you for saying that.
  18. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Why are you thanking me kyler? Are you planning on having kids? One thing is for sure, some things I would try to do differently now if I knew back then what I know now.
  19. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I'm not planning on having kids at all, but I do thank you because I do serve and work with kids so I would try my best to act the way I am supposed to.
  20. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    I think some parents ground their children out of desperation. They are simply afraid to let the child out of their sight if they child has been abusing drugs or alcohol. I can't really blame them, since they are afraid for their child and because they are also legally responsible for their child. If your kid gets caught drinking under age or doing drugs, you will be blamed. Your child could even be taken away by social services.

    I would hope with time that parents could figure out some more creative ways of dealing with things, but like I said, I don't blame them for their reaction. That reaction is based on their need to protect their child (even if it's protecting him (or her) from himself).