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How Should I help him?

Discussion in 'Questions About Treatment' started by joe, Dec 10, 2014.

  1. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    I have a friend of mine who is much addicted to alcohol. It seems alcohol has taken the better part of him. When he is not in control of alcohol, his hands shake and he never thinks straight. He says that when he takes alcohol he gets new strength. I understand how harmful it is for him to take excess alcohol daily. How should I make him stop? He is desperate and needs my help.
  2. Brady2121

    Brady2121 Active Contributor

    Have you tried talking to your friend's family, what are their opinions on this? Don't do anything too desperate without conversing with his loved ones first.
    joe and notodrugs like this.
  3. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi joe. Brady2121 is right. Consult with his family first. They are in a better position to decide on this unless it is an emergency case like alcohol OD; you can very well decide to call up 911. But in your situation now, it is much better to ask the family's thoughts on the matter also because of money matters and other personal concerns that you may not be aware of. Some family history may have to be asked. For sure, your friend is not in his right frame of mind to answer properly. I am talking here of a possible rehab care for your friend. Or he may have been to one already. At any rate, his family most likely know more details about his alcohol addiction.

    Anyway, good luck to you. Your friend is fortunate to have someone like you who is very concerned and willing to help him.
  4. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Friends are supposed to be there for one another in times of need.Right now your friend is desperate and in dire need of your help.I suggest you put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself what you could have done if in that situation.
    joe likes this.
  5. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Thank you very much for your ideas. I should try first and contact their parents and see what they have to tell me. I believe they shall give me tips on how to help. I really don't want him to continue that way. It's very hurtful to see him suffer with something that is possible to overcome.
    notodrugs likes this.
  6. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    From what I understood, you said he is desperate and he needs your help. Then respond. Ask him how you could help him. Ask him what he wants to do. Ask him if he is ready to accept your help. Otherwise, things won't be easy.
    MrsJones and joe like this.
  7. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    You could try talking him into seeking psychological analysis. This way he can get to the root of his problem and if he sees the source clearly enough it just might give him enough clarity and motivation to remain strong and just fight through the problem with willpower. Just merely wanting to stop sometimes isn't enough, but knowing which specific problems are causing this reaction might help significantly.
    joe likes this.
  8. NikkiDesrosiers

    NikkiDesrosiers Senior Contributor

    You definitely should talk to him and try to make him aware of what he is doing to himself, and make him aware of the emotional toll his addiction is taking on others and what the consequences of that are. You have to remember though that you cannot always help someone who doesnt want to be helped.
  9. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    That's very true, he must be willing to be helped. Am making wise and calculated efforts in helping him. Your advice is taken!
  10. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree. At the end of the day, this will and always will be his decision alone because it is his life and body and as much as we want to we can't really control either of these things for them. The only hope is to make them recognize what is happening because chances are they aren't seeing things clearly at this point.
    joe likes this.
  11. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Am determined to help him at all costs. I don't want to give up as people have already done with him. I came to understand that some behaviors are past his will. He is addicted! Anyway thank you for your advice. His family members are the best to consider first.
    notodrugs likes this.
  12. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    The root of the problem should first be identified. This is a good point to note. Instead of dealing with a vague problem, clear details should first be tabled about the condition and the cause of the shaking. If its related in anyway with the drugs, then the professionals will know.
  13. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I have never liked the term "peer pressure" before, but if it's the only way to make your friend snap out of it and give him the encouragement he needs to go to rehab, then I'm all for it. When you try to talk and convince him, don't do it alone. Tell all his friends and family members and you do the coaxing together. This sounds rather sly but upon seeing all the people who matter approach him as one and in full force, he'll warm up to the idea of rehab unless he stops drinking alcohol of his own volition and turns to everyone for help.
  14. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Yes this is true, approaching him as a group has more power than doing it at individual level. It also depicts some sort of seriousness to the matter. He or she will give a second thought to his activities. You know people don't like to be victims of every eye around, they change their course immediately to prevent people bothering them.
  15. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Agreed, and I find it unfortunate that most people are uninformed when it comes to deep seated psychological issued because I think most people have them, and it's just that some in some people it manifests through addiction. I'm sure if more people understood this better then they would blaming addiction or the substance itself and actually start to tackle the actual underlying problems instead of just throwing everything at it and seeing which one sticks.
    joe likes this.
  16. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Your friend needs to realise that there is a problem and at the moment it sounda like he is enjoying the superhuman effect but an intervention is needed and you cannot do it on your own as it wont have the same results. Get everyone that is close to him to come in with you and let him know that everyone is concerned. He needs to admitthat there is a problem and you can take it from there.
    joe likes this.
  17. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    That's very true, he needs to understand that he has a problem. He should open up for help. I will not give up on him, although it's discouraging.
  18. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    I am tryin
    I am trying to go to his parents, thank you for your advice.
  19. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    He certainly needs an intervention and detox and in fact seeing family and friends united for that goal can lead him to change his life.
  20. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    You can't make him stop, only he can do that for himself.
    I agree with finding out if there is a medical reason for his hands shaking, something other than the alcohol. For all anybody knows, he could be really physically sick with some kind of malady, and doesn't know what it is, but uses alcohol to cope with it.
    A thorough medical examination is in order, and I wouldn't have just one done. I'd get a second opinion to be sure. My mom was having some problems, went to one hospital and they told her it was all in her head, went to another hospital and they found out that she had a tumor in her neck that had to removed.

    The alcohol that your friend is taking, if it is being taken in excess, is a coping mechanism for something.
    Trying to help your friend is a good thing, but I'd tread very lightly, sometimes too much of the wrong kind of pressure can cause a person to drink more.
    MrsJones likes this.