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How Should I help him?

Discussion in 'Questions About Treatment' started by joe, Dec 10, 2014.

  1. Francisco

    Francisco Member

    It such a frightening situation when you have dear loved ones who are so close to you, yet so close to alcohol addiction. Agreement is not something that intertwines with force. So we cannot force our loved ones to end their addictions, however it takes real commitment and influence to get them to "agree" to stop drinking alcohol. My advise to you is to continue influencing him positively by continuously reminding him of the harmful effects of alcohol addiction and to live a life of example so as to enable him to see that it is possible to not be addicted to the substance.
  2. Francisco

    Francisco Member

    It's never easy to be consistently encouraging, but it must be done. Giving up on folks we really love is out of the question. Until death do we part :)
  3. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Love should guide us in helping them. Anything that is done outside love and care is detrimental.
    thisizznaveen likes this.
  4. juno

    juno Community Champion

    If he really wants help willingly, you can help him find a treatment option that will be best suited for him. If he is not quite able to accept his problem and does not want help, then as a friend it is best to show him all the people he is hurting. You can seek some profesional help to do an intervention.
  5. fliktor7

    fliktor7 Member

    With patience, a lot of patience, and I agree with juno, showing him how much pain is he causing himself and to the ones that they love him.
    Maybe searching for professional help could be useful, and keeping him busy, remove him from the bad companies... But first of all, he must be well motivated about this.
  6. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    As long as he thinks alcohol is the solution rather than the problem, he will not quit. He cannot think straight for himself; the best you can do really is figuring something out with his family and making sure you stay on good terms with him and show him you care. If you push too much in the wrong moment, he might just cut you out and you'll be nowhere further.
  7. drc52

    drc52 Active Contributor

    If he will not go to a rehabilitation facility I would recommend that you help him control his drinking so at the very least his hands don't shake. Many people can function when they are drinking 1-2 drinks a day, but if he is drinking more than 10 stopping cold turkey could lead to some serious withdrawal symptoms.
  8. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    You are very true, stopping him immediately could cause a harm to him.
  9. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    That's exactly what am trying to do; maintaining good terms with him. His parents are also very supportive.
  10. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Is it easy to remove him from bad company? Anyway I will try my best to influence him to make good friends.
  11. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    A professional is needed because his health conditions are at stake.
  12. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    I used to experience the same problem when I used to drink. I remember that I had to drink some wine in the morning when my mom visited some years back. I later discovered that the feeling was caused by being dehydrated. Remind your friend to keep drinking lots of water to hydrate the body even as you look for a solution to help them stop drinking.
  13. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    You can not make anyone stop drinking, unless you physically lock them up against their will. In most places this is known as kidnapping and it is illegal.

    What you can do. You can find out about detox centers which are in your area. Maybe you could talk to some of the people who run these centers and they might be able to talk to your friend. If you talk to your friend yourself you both might get upset and it might make things worse.

    You can let your friend know you are there for him.

    Probably it would be good for you to see a group for codependents of addicts. You probably are not codependent but just talking to them will help you feel less alone. Also they will be able to give you advice.
  14. 003

    003 Community Champion

    Know why he's doing what he does, get to the bottom of it and then know and try to understand. But not tolerate neither to correct him. Observe and observe before you make you assessment. Once that you have you assessment, make your movie, make the actions you think necessary. It could be giving her advice or turning him into his family, open up his case. There are many possible ways, but there are some that you must not do, and that is to reprimand him and brush on his face as if he's all unworthy as a friend and that he should have never lived. Show your support of making the most out of his potential.
  15. elles-belles

    elles-belles Community Champion

    Sounds terrible and honestly it's a situation I also find myself in. I think that you are coming from a good place, very concerned for your friend and looking to help him out but he needs to also acknowledge that he has a problem.
    From my experience I found that no matter how great of an intention I have in helping a friend quit an addiction, it's all in vain if the person themselves doesn't see the need for a change.

    Once you have established that he also wants out then you should maybe seek help from his close family members so that you can discuss good rehabilitation programs and so forth. Your support to him will always be very important.
  16. thisizznaveen

    thisizznaveen Active Contributor

    Give him examples of harmful effects of alcohol and tells him to think about family and future. Give company to him to get out off this addiction .
  17. lgdg090596

    lgdg090596 Senior Contributor

    Just be by his side. Talk to him.
  18. Thejamal

    Thejamal Active Contributor

    What's important is to stay constant in his life. Don't let up on trying to get him to stop drinking. If someone is always there in his head telling him to stop, maybe one day it actually will get through to him.

    Other than that, getting his friends and family involved in getting him help is something that can be a great use as well. People who are in need of help from drug abuse/alcoholism need family and friends around them and reminding them they love him to even come to the realization that they need help. It's then up to him whether or not he wants to get better.
  19. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    It is very sad that alcoholics make up excuses to show others that alcohol is needed. For many of us who have had problems, people and friends that still drink always insist whilst stumbling and spitting on their words that alcohol will give you more personality and it is needed to make you more fun, so having a friend that can put you in the right direction and tell you that the excuses are stupid and that there is a problem when your hands shake uncontrollably, is a good way to make them see that they are alone and need help. A good way to help your friend is to subtly let them know that you are aware that there are a few problems that they should be dealing with as the alcohol is a temporary fix to an underlying problem. Let them know that you are there to be supportive and there will be no judgement
  20. thisizznaveen

    thisizznaveen Active Contributor

    You are absolutely right Joe ,Love and care helps him to get out of it.
    With love we can easily guide .