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How Should I help him?

Discussion in 'Questions About Treatment' started by joe, Dec 10, 2014.

  1. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Love and support are a good start to helping someone as they are lost and alone and definitely do not feel loved or any self worth.
    thisizznaveen likes this.
  2. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    The new strength he is talking about is how it makes him feel when he gets drunk again. What happens after is what disables and makes him a mess. Shaking and not being able to think straight. He is confused and thinks that being drunk is the only means of strength. When he is sober and a mess he does not like that feeling or state so he goes right back to being drunk. Many people fall in this trap.
    Lol its almost the most ridiculous thing if you think about it. Its like how can you stay continually drunk to maintain strength? This would be my question and is it sustainable? This is the classic crutch of alcoholism.
  3. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Sadly not much you can do, OP. If your friend hasn't said he wants help, then there is not much that can be done. Sadly the addict needs to realize he or she needs help, and once they do that it's really up to them to actually do something about it, like for example seeking help. And even then success is not guaranteed.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I agree. At times it's only when someone is willing to change that they can take action. Before they are ready, they may not take any advice offered but that shouldn't stop you from trying. It could be the persistence to convince him to change that might eventually get anyone to consider seeking help. If you want to help someone like this just be by their side, offer your support and hope for the best.
    deanokat likes this.
  5. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    You can simply point out what you have observed to him an how much you care about him and the fact he needs help. See what he says if he agrees you could help him find a rehab or treatment. If he will not hear it, you can talk to his family. However, he has to make a decision to help himself, if and until he does...there is little you can do.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    He should help himself by trying not to drink and seek help about it seriously. He could seek help from support groups or rehabs that will give him more information about what he is feeling when not drinking and how he could overcome that.
  7. danjon

    danjon Senior Contributor

    Humor often works best when it comes to breaking the ice, but if you really believe your friend has a problem with alcohol you probably need to make a serious effort at getting through to them. How you do this depends on your personality really, but a softer, more caring approach at the beginning is usually advised.
  8. rtorir

    rtorir Member

    Virtually almost all alcoholic addicts have some form of anxiety or depression. This is settled by alcohol. Drinkers sometime face physical pain which is normally accompanied by psychological pain. At that stage, my advice is to let him look for help from a professional expert.
  9. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    I think getting him professional help would be the best option too. Of course, you'll have to get his family involved. And it would be best if it is done in a way that does not feel like your friend is being forced to do something.
  10. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    Oh wow sounds as if he might be suffering from an addiction. This is a classic response to alcohol dependency. I would try and get my friend to explain what they think about the decision they make as far as alcohol is concerned. Are you addicted would be a question...because clearly they are and until your friend is honest with himself...there is really nothing anybody can do. The best thing a good friend can do is be the support system they are going to need in the future.
  11. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Suggest to him if he can go live in a sober living home since his addiction is beating him. You can also ask him if he needs assistance to get a job hence avoid drinking too much. He also needs to avoid all friends who may buy him free alcohol.
  12. LindaBreen

    LindaBreen Member

    I am facing the same problem as I am alcholic
  13. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    Love and support are the best things to give a person suffering from addiction disease. We can be there when they need us...be a great shoulder to cry on and an effective listening ear.
    deanokat likes this.
  14. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi @joe. Just checking to see how your friend and you are doing. Has any progress been made since you last join us?
  15. djdrug

    djdrug Community Champion

    Yeah, please let us know about the progress made so far. We would really love to know.