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How soon do you get a AA sponsor and do you keep your AA sponsor forever?

Discussion in '12-Step Support Groups' started by pineywood, May 5, 2015.

  1. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    How soon do you get a AA sponsor and do you keep your AA sponsor forever?

    This is a question, that has been on my mind lately. I wonder, when you join, if there is a waiting list, or do you need to show you are serious, or is a sponsor assigned right away? I would imagine this help and support would be available, right away, but I am not sure?
  2. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Depends on the AA group you are joining to. Some of them may assign you one, but usually it's about attending several meeting to develop empathy with a prospective sponsor that may help you go through.

    Once you start walking hand in hand with your sponsor, it's up to the relationship you both develop what rules over how long the support relation is going to last. Some people cannot manage appropriately the relationship they should have with their sponsors and is about their own wellness end the sponsorship with the persons they started with, and look for a brand new sponsor.
  3. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Thanks for your informative response. I was wondering how a good match was made in these situation. Now, it makes sense that a sponsor is assigned after a few AA meetings. As I have written in other posts, I do know some people that benefited from AA meetings. I just never knew how the process worked. So again, thanks for clarifying.
  4. medievalmama

    medievalmama Community Listener Community Listener

    I have never attended a meeting where sponsors are assigned. AA does not force anyone to do anything. If someone wants to get sober, and is willing to do the 'work' (aka the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous), then that person is responsible for asking someone to be their sponsor. There are many meetings where either people raise their hands or have a phone list of people willing to be temporary sponsors.

    I have had many sponsors over the 26 years I've been sober, and still work with a sponsor today. For me, the main reason for a sponsor is to guide someone in working the 12 steps. It can also be a person for support, another set of eyes/ears to sound off on. Me, on my own, can come up with all kinds of crazy ideas and it helps having someone there who knows me and can wave the 'bullshit flag.'
  5. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Aha. So, it is more or less a mutual connection, if wanted. I would imagine having someone to "sound off too" and someone to "call BS" keeps it real. I really want to say to you, good job on your 26 years sober. Have you ever been someone sponsor to help them through the 12 step program?
  6. medievalmama

    medievalmama Community Listener Community Listener

    I've had a few sponsees through the years. Currently, I''m working with 2 gals who have about 18 months each. It is a privilege to watch them "wake up" and grow. One is on the 2nd step and the other just starting her 4th. Some people go fast, and some slow. Everyone is different.
  7. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I thought, with you being in the program for an extended period you had some sponsees, but was not sure. Oh, I love how you say, it is a privilege. Now, this speaks volumes on your character. Good analogy, "waking up". I have a few close loved ones who stop drinking for a few months and end up back on the bottle, but when they are not drinking, they talk all the time about how great it feels to be aware of their surroundings again and their health.
  8. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    I never had a sponsor, but when you go to meetings you just look for a member who is a good role model and then ask them if they would like to be your sponsor. Some members are willing to become sponsors, some are not. It is not a good idea to become overly reliant on your sponsor. If your sponsor screws up it can affect you.

    But I think a sponsor is a good idea when you are starting out.
  9. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Oh, I never thought about a sponsor "falling off the wagon".

    This makes me wonder, if a sponsor needs to be clean for a certain amount of time before becoming one?
  10. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    My mom had the choice to pick her sponsor, I think in most 12 step based groups you have the choice to pick your own sponsor. Usually someone you feel comfortable with, probably someone who might show some empathy.Most of the time the person has had several conversation face to face or via the phone, and that is when they ask said person if they can be their sponsor. My mom went to two different groups and for each group she had one sponsor.

    It's of my understanding the person can change of mind and get a different sponsor if the first one doesn't fit the bill.
  11. Bullwinkle

    Bullwinkle Active Contributor

    The AA fellowship isn't the AA program of recovery. Each AA fellowship member is autonomous, there is no hierarchy. In the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, the long form of Tradition Three simply explains this, i.e., I'm a member if I say so, and I don’t have to say anything to anyone, I'm the only one that has to know. Also, I'm not required to share / talk at AA meetings and / or identify as an alcoholic. Sponsorship is not a requirement, therefore, there is no assignment of sponsors. If there's an AA fellowship / group / meeting that assigns sponsors, I would avoid this group.
  12. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    look- i was really trung to give you the benefit of the dought when you said you couldnt say what sport you were world class in because you needed to keep your anonemity. frankly thats either not true and you stated that because like many other grandios things you have said you need to feel important.
    even you said you were codependant.
    now you tell this person something that is totally FALSE.
    one of the ONLY crieria for membership is admitting that you have become powerless over your addiction-in AA thats alcohol. telling grand stories is one thing-and if this rubs someone the wrong way, well i stand by it-but this is a forum for help. that is untrue. there are criteria for membership. in fact the focus of the group in on the NEW MEMBER.
    i dont like AA particularly. you obviously hate it and dont hold yourself to any other persons standards. but
    if you are a member of AA then you would recieve chips unless you constant;y relapse, or dont work the program. if you dont work the program i have to ask why go if you dont identify as an alcoholic, dont talk, dont get sponsorship, and dont talk about anything.

    im beating around the bush. your answers are negative and not helpful to anyone with serious questions.
    as this was completely wrong. i checked my book also before i said this just to be sure.
    True concern likes this.
  13. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Powerful statement....I approve this message