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How To Fight Loneliness

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Rainman, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Loneliness can be a relapse trigger. Fact is since most recovering addicts no longer will spend time with their friends who still use drugs, they might find themselves feeling lonely and should this go on for a little while they could start using drugs again.

    Here's how one can deal with loneliness and avoid having to start thinking about using drugs to cope.

    - Keep yourself busy. Plan out every hour of your day and ensure it's filled with activities that will keep you busy. If you are busy you'll have no time to think about anything else.

    - Learn to be self-reliant. Once you realize that you don't need anyone in order for you to "function" you won't miss your friends that much.

    - Join forums and spend some time online with people you share interests with.

    - An act of kindness a day will leave you feeling good for the rest of the day.
    mayasupernova likes this.
  2. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    I believe that all humans in their core are lonely, to an extent. Sounds negative I know, but it inspired me to really take control of my situation, because if I don't help myself, nobody in the world can.
    But still, humans are social beings, so I have a group of close people to share my troubles and thoughts with.
  3. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Loneliness is one of the main causes of relapse and I should know because ice been there many times.

    When going through recovery, even if you've got the same people around you that you've always had, it can be a lonely place. You know yourself that your not the person you used to be, they know that also and you also know that one more night of drink or drugs will make you that person you once was again, just for a bit and that's where the problem is.
  4. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Yes, it is defintely better to try to get a new group of friends. Once you are sober, your old friends don't really fit and can cause you to relapse. It is better to try to get new people to hang out with and do things with. It is simply the best thing to do for yourself, and your newly acquired sobriety.
  5. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Gaming is the best way to avoid loneliness. Go challenge your friends and you will never get bored. You can go cycling if you have a boring day. I usually go swimming to refresh my mind and avoid boredom. As long as you keep yourself busy you can beat loneliness. Loneliness can be seen as a major cause of stress and we have to avoid it at whatever cost.
  6. mayasupernova

    mayasupernova Active Contributor


    I am in the state of depression as a result of loneliness. I even felt very lonely in my last relationship. I guess that was due to the way I was being treated, but that is not the topic here.
    What I wanted to say is that yes, I am trying desperately to cope with my loneliness in various ways, some of which you mentioned here!
    I have joined this and many other forums, as the beginning stage of getting out of it. I have found a great help just from posting here, reading your posts, etc.because not only do I feel like the one who can share, but also as a great learner.
    Also, I have managed to get a lot of apps on my android phone that are keeping me busy, plus gaming as someone mentioned above.
    What I also would do is go out, at least when it is not raining,because it seems to make me feel even lonelier...but when the day is nice, I grab the chance to get some Sun and warmth.
    Rainman likes this.
  7. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    For me, the difference is in letting it be okay to be alone at times and differentiate that from actual loneliness. I didn't used to be able to do that. Being alone was almost painful to me, but now I am able to enjoy some alone time and note the difference. When I do feel lonely, I have to push myself to reach out to others. I know I'm not truly alone and that there are other people out there who can relate to my thoughts and concerns, etc. I just have to put myself out there. It's usually easier said than done.
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I just remember this phrase, "Don't depend your happiness on other people," and I totally agree with that. When you depend your happiness on other people, and they aren't able to meet your expectations, you would just somehow feel disappointed, and lonely. I suggest learn to be fine even when you're only by yourself. You don't need anyone to make you happy, anyway. You're your own hero at the end of the day.
  9. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I have felt lonely many times in my life even when I was with others. I have come to spend on me and to make me happy. I don't need other around. I am comfortable being alone. It has gotten to the point where I prefer my own company now. I am happier being alone then being with others. I do on occasion get lonely but the feeling passes and I move forward. In life it is so important to make yourself happy.
  10. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Good advice, recovering addicts should really avoid their old friends that use if they want to get better because their influnce might urge the recovering addict to relapse. They should only surround themsleves with good influences, like a clean relative or friend.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Definitely agree with staying busy to combat loneliness. When I was recovering I would even do things like spend time at my local library or take a really long time doing my grocery shopping, so that I was still "around" people even if I wasn't necessarily interacting with them. It helped!
  12. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I agree with you, loneliness can be a difficult thing to deal with especially if a lot of your friends are still drug users and they don't really want to change yet. But you are always going to find people that you can relate to, that's one of the internet benefits.
  13. mayasupernova

    mayasupernova Active Contributor

    You are completely right. Once we realise that the only person we can rely on in life is ourselves, we will be way happier. We should not wait for someone else in life to make our lives worth living, to make us some sense of belonging, self-worth, and self-love. As you have said, people always disappoint you, they don't meet your expectations of how you think they should behave or treat you.
    We tend to put expectations everywhere we go. We tend to train other people to meet these expectations, thus love us or respect us in the ways we want them to, without realising people everywhere are quite different, and all of us have our own ways of showing affection.
    Loneliness is very tough but one day when you find your own way how to fight it, thus make yourself way more happier, you will be fine, even on your own. :)
  14. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    This is why it's important to find hobbies that we enjoy. It will keep us busy and take our minds off of other things that might drag us down.
  15. irishrose

    irishrose Community Champion

    Humans are social by nature, it is important to have some human interaction in our day to day lives. One way to start is to simply get out of the house. Take a walk, go shopping, go to the library, and interact with people you meet. Even a simple smile or hello will do, it's better than nothing! Another way to meet new people is by joining a class (art, cooking, fitness, etc), or by volunteering somewhere.
  16. xeylonfm

    xeylonfm Member

    Just yesterday sunset I was thinking about loneliness and the kind that leaves you with lots of people around, yet no people at all! Sounds ironic, doesn’t it? You may have lots of people around you but none of them is close to you, none of them you can confide to and none of them can have a good time with you. This is when some queer loneliness steps in. it is quite true that loneliness can strongly induce relapse and therefore you will have to do away with this loneliness at whatever cost to avoid the back-fall. So for starters, you will need something fun to do so that you can make friends. You need to know that without something common to do, it will be very hard to make that kind of connection. So you can chose some sports activity, or some walk, biking, gaming, or mountaineering with a club…so long it as something that would jog your mind and bring people closer to you. You will be tuned to a healthy lifestyle and you will make friends. That’s the best part. So don’t have loneliness take the better of you. Conquer it before it faces you with an army outnumbering you 20:1. Wish you well on that.re blog for some time and i ortant. i ere would be nothing to frustrate you. dont rest already.
  17. SPR012

    SPR012 Member

    Loneliness is definitely an enemy to sobriety. Keeping and staying busy is a must as any downtime can lead to a painful relapse. If you ever find yourself with too much time on your hands and with a fear of relapse, immediately find something to occupy yourself with - whether it be reading a book, browsing this forum, or exercising, literally anything is better than sitting there thinking about drugs. If you feel you have no one to talk to, realize that you are not alone. Thousands have gone through the same struggles as you and have survived to see a better day. Please hang in there and see it through.
  18. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Those are nice tips and information.
    Right that some are into drinking and other substances because of being or feeling lonely. Better to be busy on useful things like volunteering and playing sports. Forums like this will also help in making someone feels that you are not alone.
  19. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I agree with you. Loneliness can be really painful, and if you are not used to it, it can even drive you mad. Luckily, there are many ways of fighting it. Don't let it consume you. There is always a chance of finding new friends and people to hang out with. Loneliness can be beaten.
  20. artyarson

    artyarson Active Contributor

    First, interests. Some of them definitely should involve the interaction with others. For me, it was playing team sport.