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How to help a friend?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by candy23, May 18, 2015.

  1. candy23

    candy23 Member

    My friend is struggling with alcoholism; she's in college, and this past week she got way too drunk and it was eye opening for me and my other friends. How can we support her in her journey, especially with the college culture surrounding alcohol?
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Helping anybody overcome an addiction is going to be hard, first the person themselves need to accept they have a problem and be open to getting help.

    How many times has this happened though? Is it a regular occurrence or was it a one off?
  3. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    I agree. The power of recognizing you have a problem must come within ourselves first. If someone tries to make us see that we have a problem then things are going to get complicated since we'll be stubborn.

    But trying to talk it through has some effects since it can stimulate your interlocutor to think about it and potentially make some minor or major changes, depending on the respective case.
  4. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    You should firstly talk to her and let her open up about this addiction. You never know what goes on in other people's minds.
    A good thing would be to direct her to this forum, maybe she can read some of the stories posted around here and open her eyes about alcohol problems.
  5. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    Recognizing it is a problem is the first step, after it comes the attempt to solve that problem in whatever way it works to that particular person. You make a VERY important point.
  6. blur92

    blur92 Senior Contributor

    I agree with everyone here who stresses the importance for her to recognize she has a problem. Otherwise, she will continue her behavior thinking that there is nothing wrong with it. She needs to understand the dangers of alcoholism (emotional and physical detriments) as well as know that it is a slippery slope to fall into. Hopefully, this is more of a phase rather than an addiction. Young adults who never drank alcohol before are more likely to get involved in binge/heavy drinking when the leave for college. It isn't unusual for them to slow down. Still, I would not risk waiting it out to discover whether this is the situation. If I were you, I'd express my concerns.
  7. Domen

    Domen Active Contributor

    I have the same problem. I have a friend who is a heavy alcohol drinker and smoker at the age of 20. I'm too seeking for ways to get through to him and try to persuade him towards drinking and smoking less. I would try to get a reach of a couple of friends she's really close with and sit her down to have a serious chat about it together. I wouldn't want to be preachy and I would really select my words. I would try to get her under the impression that I'm not trying to tell her how to live her life but instead, I would try to express my genuine worries and try to persuade her towards making a change for herself. At the end of the day if she does it for others she didn't accomplish a single thing. Hope this helps.
  8. mwin43587

    mwin43587 Active Contributor

    I have a friend who is also addicted to alcohols, and I’ve wanted him to stop or at least reduce his alcohol intake. And I also need an advice on how I am going to ask and help him get rid of his alcohol addiction. I completely have no idea on what if feels to drink alcohol, I’ve never tried to taste or drink. I already tried to talk to him about this matter, but sadly he didn’t listen to me, instead he laughed at me because of the fact that I don’t drink. As his friend, I am greatly concerned of him. I do not want him to reach the point that he would have to go in a rehabilitation house just to overcome his addiction. All opinions are and will be a great help for me, thanks.
    blur92 likes this.
  9. mwin43587

    mwin43587 Active Contributor

    You are absolutely right, the person must first accept the fact that he/she is undergoing alcohol addiction. They should be the one to do the first step on overcoming their addiction, we will not be the one who will stop stem, instead we will just help them in their journey of overcoming their addiction.
  10. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    The methods aren't set in stone but if your friend is not yet an alcoholic, one of the best ways to prevent her from becoming one is to avoid attending parties and going to nightclubs. Find worthwhile endeavors such as volunteering in your community or joining outreach programs. You may also take up art, dance or other recreational classes together. Keep busy with more productive undertakings.
    Last edited: May 20, 2015
    blur92 likes this.
  11. blur92

    blur92 Senior Contributor

    This is a great solution. Keep her busy with something fulfilling. If it involves physical work then she will be to tired to go out and party lol.
  12. blur92

    blur92 Senior Contributor

    A lot of people here, including myself, suggest to first talk to that person. Did you also express how concerned you are about him? Even though you haven't drank it is well known alcohol is very dangerous and easily addictive. If he has signs of alcoholism show him a reliable source listing the symptoms. @xTinx made an awesome suggestion to get involved in other activities. Try to pick something that interests him and see if he'll join with you. You may not initially be interested in it yourself, but it's great to expand your horizon by trying new things. Plus, you'll be helping your friend so it will be worth it.
  13. mwin43587

    mwin43587 Active Contributor

    Hi, we used to play Basketball when we were in high school, and I always invite him to play so that he may forget to drink alcohol and enjoy himself playing. I always show him how concern I am to him by always telling him to reduce his alcoholism. I believe he is listening to me and slowly he wants to change his bad habits. Thank you for your reply! :)
    blur92 likes this.
  14. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Did you talk to her about it? I find it odd that everyone who ask for advice on saving a friend, has not talked to the person yet. Tell them your concerns and report back if that doesn't work.
  15. blur92

    blur92 Senior Contributor

    No problem! I'm so happy to hear that your situation with him is improving. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to initiate the change? I remember you originally said he wouldn't listen to you since you had no experience with alcohol and would just laugh.
  16. mwin43587

    mwin43587 Active Contributor

    It is because he is having a problem with his girlfriend. A personal problem, I am hoping that he will continue avoiding addictive stuffs.