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How to help a victim

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Rosyrain, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    My best friend is married to a man who can't handle his alcohol at all. When he drinks he gets violent and has hit her before. She is trying to leave him, but does not have the money at this point to take care of herself and the kids. I am afraid for her. They do not keep alcohol in the house, but he still finds ways to drink. I am helping her to find a job and would take her into my home if she needs to come, but what else can I do to help her?
  2. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It might be useful for her to keep an emergency bag at your place in case she needs to make a quick exit. Just a change of clothes for everyone, toothbrushes etc. and copies of important documents. In the meantime, are there any women's organizations in the area which she could contact?
  3. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Sounds like you are doing everything that you can do at the moment. This may be too much to ask, but have you considered taking her in now before she finds a job? That would put you at a major burden if she cannot support herself.
  4. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Are there any shelters in your area that she can go to? They will be able to help her get on her feet and keep her safe from him. You are a great friend for helping her out in anyway you can. Be careful though because his anger may be directed towards you if he ever finds out you are helping her escape. Tell her not to let him know her plan of leaving, it will only makes things much worse for her and her children.
  5. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    This may sound callous but you can only help your friend is she decides that it's time to get help. Before she's ready to seek help, there isn't much you can do for her. In the meantime all you can do is offer her some advice, your support etc. You could also help her find a domestic violence agency so she can report the abuse.
  6. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    If she doesn't want help with her husband, then there's not much you can do there, to be completely honest with you. I don't want you to get your hopes raised up too much. But if you've noticed signs of her actually wanting to receive help, then don't hesitate. She might change her mind in an instant, it's unpredictable.