How to motivate an addict?

As I have said before my brother in law has been addicted to CAT and weed. After going to rehab last year the CAT addiction has subsided but he still smokes weed almost daily. He has been staying at home with his parents playing playstation every day since coming out of rehab. His father and I have arranged numerous interviews and jobs for him, but he thinks he deserves a job that pays more than $1500 a month instead of the $ 800 jobs we are getting him.

He is 22 now and his life is passing him by. How do I motivated him to start wordking again

I found my best motivation was the though of what my life could be like with out drugs. Without worrying about money for drugs or where to get drugs. Sometimes, I'd cry because I got so excited about what my life could be.

I think the first thing to do is get rid of his weed supply somehow. The next step is to take him out of his comfort zone and get some rigorous job for him; something that takes his mind off substances and probably a job that gets him tested every now and then.

Remember, no matter how much you all try, if he is unwilling to stay clean there is nothing you all can do for him.

Taking his weed would only cause tension between you and the addict. Personally I wouldn't do this. He would (probably) get angry and things would only get worse.

@deanokat The biggest issue is that his mother is still protecting him. They are coming to see our baby for the first time at the end of the month and she doesn't want him to stay at home alone so he is coming with. I don't want an addict around me, my fiance and more importantly my baby. How do I know he wont get high and unintentionally hurt her by dropping her etc.

When they address the smoking he just claims he is depressed and if he can't smoke he is going to commit suicide so my mother in law allows him to smoke as she sees it as the lesser of two evils.

I am dealing with a similar scenario with my heroin-addicted cousin. She is barely 18 years old and although she is now clean and sober, the residual effects of her drug use are still pretty evident. Since she spent her teen years using as opposed to getting an education, her skill set is minimal but she still feels as if she is entitled to a high paying, low effort job and I can't seem to get her to see the light.
To be honest, I think depression plays a big part here, especially in my own personal situation, and likely in yours too since weed is a depressant. I can imagine that daily use would be quite a downer. I am hoping to see some good, motivational tips on this thread because I can definitely relate to the frustration of seeing the entitlement although the work is lacking.

I so wish this could work. She will never agree to even read the book. It is not a case of denial as she does know he is an addict. She also knows he smokes. She even knows where he gets his supply. I will give it to her and hopefully it makes a difference, but I really don't have much hope.

Do you guys think sending him to one of those working farms would work? They basically cut you of from the outside world for 3 months and make you do manual labour on the farm. I see this as a last resort, but a more and more likeable one as the time is passing.

@deanokat, this is my brother and I know my mother won't even touch that book.

This is such a hard time for us. My fiancé, @Noreht, and I whom are both recovered addicts trying our best everyday to motivate and support him, as we know how important and hard this is for him.

We don't stay in the same province (state) as my brother. We knew he's not getting the best support there and also living around lots of triggers. We've made the suggestion that he should come and stay with us for.a while to try and get a job here and that we will help him until he can get his own place. To make a long story short, he came, I fell pregnant and it was to much stress on me because he was sitting here at our house playing playstation all day not wanting to apply for jobs and help around the house, he was lazy and things just didn't worked out at that time. So we've send him back to my parents home.
We still tried our best to support him as we know how hard this road is. Sometimes I feel guilty, whining I can do more be there more support more,but I have an 10 week old.baby and he lives very far away. Just hard, this is my baby brother and he only trusts me and my fiance.

We have discussed it and @Jani_pikki and I were actually the ones that convinced his parents to rather send him to rehab here where we live. He was heavily opposed to the idea and as we thought he would do better in an environment where we could support him we had him come down to us. We were there for every family meeting and visiting time that we could. He was doing well while in there, but it all turned bad when he returned back home.

As you have seen with our previous posts we are at our wits end, but as we love him we really just want him to get better and we are looking for the best way to do this.

Yes, I think as hard as it is, sometimes detachment is what is needed. It is really up to the individual family as to how far they feel they need to take it. However, letting the person know that you are there from them but at this point it is best if you go your separate ways, at least for awhile.

They are all coming to visit at the end of the month. I think the best course of action is for us all to have a sit down and a honest discussion. Not only about his dependency on drugs but his dependence on his parents. Like I have said, Jani and I have really done our best to support him and I even lined up jobs for him that he refused to take.

I have always felt like it is not my place to say anything as I am just the fiancee, but his behaviour is influencing my daughters ability to get to know her grandparents and I will not take it anymore.

Thank you for the wonderful support. I just needed to update you. Your good thoughts have created good things. My brother in law is actually going or an interview at a local computer store tomorrow. Lets all hope for the best. God is looking after us.

Thank you @deanokat . The interview went well apparently. It seems my brother in law had a huge life changing moment. I don't know if it was the vibes we have been sending or the prayers, but he is actively looking for work and has started looking at courses to do distance learning. I will keep you posted, but I just want to thank ythe community and you especially for all your support.