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How to remain patient?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by akiram13, Feb 10, 2016.

  1. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    My brother is suffering from withdrawal symptoms. He is under medication. He no longer does drugs. But the things he isn't supposed to do like drinking, smoking and not sleeping. Sleeping I can understand.

    We are all supportive of his recoverment. He will quit these habit for a week or two then start up again. He is a really lazy kid. How can I keep my patience with him?
  2. melody

    melody Active Contributor

    I know that it is not easy to keep your patience. Remember that addiction is an illness, so consider this: he needs the same patience that you would give anyone who is sick. He may not have stopped some of the other habits, but he may be able to if he feels proud of the success that he has had now that he is off drugs. You need to remind him how proud he is, and that he can take the next step when he is ready.

    As for you, I know patience is difficult. My son has autism, and I have had to discover great wells of patience within myself. Your brother and my son are both suffering an illness, and it is up to us to hold the light so that they might find their way out of the dark. When you are really frustrated, walk away. You can cry and scream to yourself, a family member or friend. Just keep remind yourself that you are strong.

    Anger an fear are the two biggest enemy to patience. If you can keep control of those two emotions, then you can be more patient than you would ever think.
  3. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    I will always support him in the good thing he does. He knows I will always have his back. It just pains me to see him like that.. I swear it tore my heart when they came to take him into rehab. He didn't even hesitate because he was so lost it hurt me so much to see him in this mess. I feel frustrated because I do not want him to fall backwards. I do not want to see him in this predicament where is so down and no one can enter his world to help him. Only he can do that for his self but it pains me to see that he isn't. He know what he has to do but does the opposite.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Patience can be learned. Of course this doesn't happen overnight but if you are certain that your brother will try your patience for a little while longer then you could take some baby steps to ensure that you don't lose your patience. Learn meditation. It will always calm you when you get angry and you can use what you learn to cope with any situation that will probably make you lose your patience.
  5. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    Recovering addicts do struggle with the urge to go back to their addiction; one needs to grow a strong heart to help them with this fight. It is a community fight and not a one-man fight. It is the role of the loved ones to keep extra watch and direct them in the right path.
  6. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    I can only hope and pray that my brother can fight his battles. If only he truly wanted to could we actually help. But I always always be here to give him the support he needs. Just angers me to see him give in so easily to his desires and craves. Only because I know he can break through. When I think of the day that my brother can pick his self up overwhelms my heart. I do not want to see my brother struggle or suffer. If I could be the big sister to go and fight his addiction for him I would. But I feel helpless on the sidelines.
  7. Stifiejohn

    Stifiejohn Member

    When you feel impatient, it's important to get out of this frame of mind as quickly as possible. Try these strategies:

    • Take deep, slow breaths, and count to 10. Doing this helps slow your heart rate, relaxes your body, and distances you emotionally from the situation. If you're feeling really impatient, you might need to do a longer count, or do this several times.
    • Impatience can cause you to tense your muscles involuntarily. So, consciously focus on relaxing your body. Again, take slow, deep breaths. Relax your muscles, from your toes up to the top of your head.
    • Learn to manage your emotions. Remember, you have a choice in how you react in every situation. You can choose to be patient, or choose not to be: it's all up to you.
    • Force yourself to slow down. Make yourself speak and move more slowly. It will appear to others as if you're calm – and, by "acting" patient, you can often "feel" more patient.
    • Practice active listening and empathic listening. Make sure you give other people your full attention and patiently plan your response to what they say.
    • Remind yourself that your impatience rarely get others to move faster – in fact, it can interfere with other people's ability to perform complex or highly-skilled work. All you're doing is creating more stress, which is completely unproductive.
    • Try to talk yourself out of your impatient frame of mind. Remind yourself how silly it is that you're reacting this way. People often don't mind if a meeting is delayed, just as long as you let them know that you're running late in advance.
    Dominica likes this.
  8. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @akiram13 hey there. i know this thread is old, but just wonder how you and your brother are getting along. would love to hear from you when you get a chance.