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How To Tell A Friend to Quit

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by suegiplaye, Jul 19, 2015.

  1. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    I have never really put much stock into and christian beliefs. Heaven, hell, omnipotent being controlling the lives of every single human being on the planet, all at the same time... just not my cup of tea. But the chakras, third eye, and all that jazz has always intrigued me. I'm going to have to check out the binaural beats you are talking about. I want to look into the chakras, as well, while I'm a it. If I can get help with my memory, naturally, I'm all about that!
  2. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    That is the worst case if its someone who is a close friend to you. It is a challenge telling him that he needs to quit you just have to find the right time to be alone with him and talk about it. If you come off too strong he may get defensive and refuse you from being around him.
  3. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    It r really is a tough spot to be in. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer. Just make sure he knows you love him, and thats where the concern comes from.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Grown people do what they want to do. "are you high?" "Is everything ok? Something bothering you? Stress or a problem."
    You've got to address the spirit and emotions of a person. Don't worry about how they deal with it. Don't obsess over the fact that he is high. Figure out what is the reason for it, the why.
    He may not say. Some people use things to mask emotions to deny them. There is always another reason. If you pay too much attention to what he is doing that you think is wrong, you will drive him further into the addiction. Allow it and see if you can figure out the root of why he is doing it. If you get that out of him then offer an ear for that. I am sure he can see the disapproval in your face. "are the drugs helping you?" "is getting high helping with that?"
    We know the answer to this. No of course even if someone says yes. You've just got to make them see for themselves that is only making it worse. A person needs to see things for themselves. Not be told what to do.
    deanokat likes this.
  5. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    @Adrianna Thats wonderful advice! Every so often you'll see someone who doesn't know what their "why" is. To have someone care enough to find out for them has got to mean something.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    They said that a real and true friend is the one who will be there for you in good and bad times of your life. @suegiplaye I really admire you for the concern you are showing to your childhood friend. It is better that you will talk to him if he is not high and when he is in a good state of mind. Since you had known each other for a long time ago you know already his behavior and attitudes that is why you know when is the right time to talk things out to him. Just keep on praying that one day he will listen to you and realize his own mistakes in life.
  7. whitenoise

    whitenoise Senior Contributor

    I had several friends who were high and always used drug even when in front of me but when I started talking about it they were just trying in all manners to avoid the conversation so I didn't have the chance to keep up a good conversation about this topic but I feel like that they're just avoiding it just because the reality hurts.
  8. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    There have been a few times when being my friend was really hard. If I hadn't have had the kind of friends that would stick by me even in bad times, I wouldn't have made it.
    deanokat likes this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    It's nice to have friends like that, isn't it @LilAnn? :)
  10. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I recall being always drunk and a friend turning to me and the people that were with me saying, is he always like that? So I never forget those words... Sometimes it's hard to hear the truth.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Oh wow! I bet that really could make a helluva impact! I don't believe I would ever forget it, either.
    sunflogun likes this.
  12. whitenoise

    whitenoise Senior Contributor

    Belive me that it's a lot better the truth than any other things. It just keeps you down to earth.
    sunflogun and deanokat like this.
  13. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    So true, his words just keep echoing in my head and who knows if it didn't make a difference or not. That guy didn't drink, so that's why he was shocked.
  14. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Yep, also because I used to meet him in other situations and we talked ok, but he found surprising to see me like that, totally wasted and another person like.
  15. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Its always so hard to forget these things. I'm from a small town, where everyone knows me, and likes to tell people I haven't met about things I've done. You just need to give him a better story to tell. Even it isn't telling.
  16. p4lse

    p4lse Member

    I'd say just go for it in the most casual manner. Don't set a time or place to tell the person but just slip it in a casual conversation and show your care and affection via. your tone and make him feel that you genuinely care about him.
    deanokat likes this.
  17. JadeVengeance

    JadeVengeance Active Contributor

    He will deny anything if he is taking drugs, all addicts seem to deny the fact they take drugs until they want to quit. Even then, they can still deny it. The best thing to do is really make sure that he is definitely doing drugs before you accuse him and then just confront him
  18. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    You have to emphasize that if he does not quit, then it will only be a matter of time before he gets into some sort of misfortune that will end his life, since he is high most of the time and he doesn't know what he's doing. Tell him that you care for him and you would like to see him improve himself.
    deanokat likes this.
  19. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I disagree with this approach. Based on my experiences with my son, I really believe that confrontation just doesn't work. When someone is confronted, they can feel like they're being ambushed, and I think an angry response is very possible. I much prefer an empathetic, loving, heart-to-heart conversation when you tell the person why you're concerned for them and their well being. Also, tell them how their drug use makes you feel. Be honest, but keep anger out of it. Anger just breeds more anger. If you want a chance to get through to someone who's using, your best approach is a caring one. Just my $0.02 based on my experience.
  20. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    Yep, small towns are even worse! One night I was drinking in my wife's town and that night is still remembered today and that was years ago.