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husband and pills

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by istayhegoes, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. istayhegoes

    istayhegoes Member

    Hi. I have been married for 13 yrs and have 3 kids with my husband. I walked in in him about 6 yrs ago snorting pain pills. Since then bc I was uneducated and nieve to his usage. october he just decided one day he had enough of our life and wasn't sure if he ever loved me. He has been out of our house at his moms since Dec 25th. He was visiting kids almost everyday and now it's like 3 times a week for short visits. Am I missing something...I talked to a PI about social habits of abusers. She said it was 1 or more of 3 things going her experience. A- he is a groupie or has a woman, B- he is further into addiction than I realized or C- he is dealing. What is your thoughts. Bc hr doesn't take much money out of our account buy hr does take some...I am looking for support whilr I stand for my husband and marriage. Ty
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @istayhegoes... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. There's no doubt that loving someone who struggles with addiction is one of the most challenging things anybody can do.

    There's a really good book out there called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written specifically for partners/loved ones of addicts and it's incredibly helpful. It teaches the best way to communicate with your loved one--with love and empathy, not anger--to help motivate them to make changes in their life. It also talks about self-care, which is incredibly important when you love an addict. It's essential that you remember to take care of YOU first and foremost. That may sound selfish, but it's not.

    I talk about this book more in a blog I wrote not too long ago. You may be interested in checking it out. Some of the other books I discuss may also be helpful to you. Here's the link to the blog:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    I wish you nothing but the best of luck in dealing with your husband. We are here to help and support you any way we can. You are not alone during this difficult time.

    Peace and hugs.
  3. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I'm really sorry about what you are going through. But my advice would be to woo your husband back; whether he has some other relationship or not, he is still married to you. Living in his mother's is totally inappropriate.

    Once you have him back, then you could both go for counselling so that your new found love can be built on leaning on each other at tough times. It is hard but that is the best thing I can think of right now.

    You can start by sending him flowers and a love letter that you are thinking about him. Love helps in times like these. Don't show you have been hurt, let your husband be the center of attention now.

    Wish you the best.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @istayhegoes... How are you doing today? I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    This really sounds like a dilemma. The fact that he's snorting and selling at the same time is pretty wild. This is not meant to be a joke, but the way you're describing your husband makes him sound like scarface. Maybe you should talk to him about slowing down and being aware of his responsibilities as a husband. I hope every thing works out for you both.
  6. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I realize that this PI is just saying what could be happening. Still he may not be doing any of these things. Even if he is abusing drugs, there could be a deeper issue. You should talk to him and ask what's going on. You can figure out where to go from there.
  7. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    He sounds like somebody who doesn't know what he wants and of course pouring substances on a problem is just going to aggravate any conditions that were already there. Maybe you could join al anon or a similar group dealing with narcotics. It is not easy to know what to do here, but I think you need to ask yourself what you want.