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Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by Rainman, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I stumbled into something written by a parent who doesn't know how to help his son and realized that there are many parents who are faced with the same dilemma. This parent had discovered that his son had started smoking and he tried to offer the boy some advice. The boy however would not take advice from an alcoholic.

    You drink, the boy told his father, and I smoke. We aren't that different you and I.

    Question: is there a way parents who are drug addicts can convince their children to stop using drugs if they [the kids] have just started experimenting?
  2. Shenwil

    Shenwil Senior Contributor

    I would say to use yourself as an example. What better way can they learn than from a story close to home. The thing though if you're still an addict there is not a chance in hell that they will listen to you. You have to help yourself before you can help others.
    Rainman likes this.
  3. GettingBetter

    GettingBetter Senior Contributor

    Yeah unfortunately I don't think there is much an active addict can do to convince someone not to use. It is very hypocritical and I wouldn't listen to his advice either. Better way would be to ask someone else to talk to the kid. You don't say if it is a grown son or not, but if not, the alcoholic might be wise to try to find a better living arrangement for his son if he can't get sober.
  4. dkelly

    dkelly Active Contributor

    Well this sounds like a no win situation. No one likes the do as I say but not as I do attitude. As a parent you have to live a good example. For such a father, if he really wants to help his son, he will have to first help himself. He must prove by action that it is possible and beneficial to change.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Be the change you want to see in your child.
  6. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I don't think so, kids learn from examples and if they are living with an addict they obviously aren't going to have the bests habits or self control in the world, and as you've said I think that telling your kids that they shouldn't use certain substance when you are using drugs/alcohol is an act of hypocrisy.
  7. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    A good authoritative and supporting figure is the one that sets clear examples for his children to follow. If you aren't showing model behavior yourself, you cannot expect to influence them and push them towards positive change. Especially in the developing stages when kids are shaping up to be who they will be, this is extremely important.
  8. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Set an example for your child. If you want your child to be a better person then you need to be a better person yourself. Your child looks up to you even though they don't always show that. You need to be the best you that you can be. If your child continues on doing drugs, etc. after you get yourself clean then you know you did what you could. Do it together.