My husband and I are newly weds in our 40s. Everything was wonderful at first. A year into our marriage his father died which world winded him into a deep depression. He was a borderline alcoholic before our marriage I believe, and even more so since his father died. After a year of crazy, dramatic blow ups throwing me and my son out of the house, punching vehicles as we were fleeing, I moved out. His family made it seem like I was the crazy person, and drove him to drinking. Now I realize they are a bunch of narcissistic people, truly and sadly. I gave my husband an ultimatum quit drinking or divorce. Another year has gone by, he will be the most amazing husband I always wanted and then SNAP, he's a drunken emptiness that only says cynical remarks and runs me off. Well another violent episode occurred again. I love my husband that I envision in my head. But this man is scary and empty and unreachable. I barely escape with a few bruises and broken fingernails, and a deeply broken heart. And of course the next morning endless apologetic phone calls. Repeating the same promises and never fulfilling them and then using phrases like, I only get like that when I drink liquor, I need to stick to beer. I swear I won't drink, I am sorry... I hate those words now. He said he knows he's an alcoholic and he quit before and will quit again. But he if does its only for a week or two at a time. He has every excuse why he can't seek help. I am realizing I am better to cut my losses and walk away. It's not at all what I want but I see no other way to end this horrible vicious life robbing cycle.