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I am trying to help a friend

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by jharris, Feb 16, 2016.

  1. jharris

    jharris Member

    I have a friend in Texas that told me she is addicted to alcohol meth and benzodiazepines she called me and really really is struggling with her addiction. I explained to her that I have to had to get off narcotics and this is the worst demon to have its not easy and never will be but I stayed home took showers rested ate healthy watched tv got on the computer to get my mind off of things I shouldn't be thinking about so I am not sure what other advice I can give and I understand that this is the worst to deal with but she acts like she doesn't want help. I know as well as anyone that if you don't set your mind to it then it is very very difficult. Was I correct in saying this to her?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @jharris... You're right. In order to get clean your friend will have to set sobriety as a goal, focus on it, and work incredibly hard to achieve it. If she truly wants to get clean, she will be able to do it. But if she isn't ready to do it, or if she only has a fleeting desire to do it, it's not going to happen. You are a wonderful friend for wanting to help, but only your friend can make the decision to change. That's the toughest part about having someone we care about struggling with addiction. It doesn't matter how much we want them to change. They have to want it even more.

    I will keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers. Again, you are an amazing friend for caring so much and wanting to help.

    MrsJones likes this.
  3. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi jharris. Welcome. Yes you were right in telling your friend those points regarding her addiction. Having yourself begun your journey I commend you for being truthful throughout your conversation. I hope the call ended on good terms as some addicts will get offended and discontinue the call because you are not saying what they want to hear. I pray that is not what happened.

    You may be the one she has sought out for support even though there is quite a few miles between you both. If so that is a good thing. Keep the line of communication open for her to pass along your journey experiences.
  4. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I think what your friend needs is someone clean and strong-willed close to her. It may be easy to give all these advice but following them is a major step. I wish there was someone like a fitness coach who could meet with her in her home everyday to help her stay clean; more like a rehab coach. Many people desire to get off drugs but taking the step of going out to rehab or thinking of what the community would think of them is a major concern.
    MrsJones likes this.