An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

I apologize....

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by L_B, Dec 21, 2015.

  1. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I am sorry that I have been on here lately going on about my husband and his addiction. I didn't realize how awful I was being until I read a comment where somebody mentioned that I was telling all on here and that really got me thinking. What was I thinking? Going back and reading all my posts I sound like I am out of control and obsessive. It is time to just let things play out. He is going to do what he wants to do regardless of how I feel. I can't make him to do what I want him to do. He is an adult and he makes his own decisions. I really have no control of the situation and I am sorry to have come on here and ranted on about my life and my problems. People on here have far worse problems then I am dealing with right now. I will get through this just like I have with other things in my past. I am here to help and support others in anyway I can, not to come across as being unstable and weak. For those of you who have offered advice I thank you but for now I am going to focus on helping others and being a better person.
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
  2. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @L_B. You had a concern and expressed it where you believed it would be heard. Often times we all don't find outlets to do that. Here we can take what we want and leave the rest. That is what I feel this forum is also for. Yes your husband is an adult, an adult with a problem that has an affect on you. If you feel you need to rant on again feel free to PM me I will be glad to listen.
    Jasmine2015 likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @L_B... I for one see nothing wrong with anything you posted. I really don't think you need to apologize, either. This forum is a place for people who are affected by addiction to share openly and honestly. I think coming on here and ranting is a perfectly acceptable use of this forum. Living with addiction is hell, whether you're experiencing it firsthand or watching a loved one go through it. It's a family disease that touches everyone.

    Like Al-Anon teaches us, we didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. But that doesn't mean we can't talk about why it bothers us, and how it makes us feel. You are a human being and because of that you're entitled to the full range of emotions. I will listen to you anytime you want to talk. Even if it's "ranting."

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend. And sending you hugs.
    MrsJones likes this.
  4. Dwayneu

    Dwayneu Community Champion

    Seconding Dean here. I was actually very glad to read your stories and engage in discussions about your problems with you, because I felt like I was helping you the best I can, by providing just another insight, and someone who listens to you. If that is your decision I respect it, but remember that you can come in, share with us, update on how it's going, no judgement. Good luck, really!
    deanokat and MrsJones like this.
  5. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    LB I think this is what this forum is for. You have nothing to be sorry about. I have an idea how frustrating it is to be in a situation like that. I have an ex husband who provides alot of support for me..however, he does not provide proper flea control for his dog..and then brings it in here to affect my pets. I told him he could not come in with the dog if the dog has fleas. which he took care of for awhile..but last time here it is the middle of the winter and the dog has fleas again.!. He won't flea bomb his house,,,and the poor little dog spends all his time scratching...I isn't quite the parallell...but the frustration I feel when he does this maddening...and I am sure you feel the same...Can't you just ask him to leave?
    deanokat likes this.
  6. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    This forum is truly a great place to be. Some people are addicts and some people are effected by those who are addicts. What more appropriate place to rant about what is going on than here? There is no need to bottle up your feelings when you know you have a good outlet. Besides, by talking things through, someone here just might give you a gem of advice which can happen of we don't know what is going in in your situation. Feel free to rant as needed.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Thanks everybody I appreciate that. Sometimes I feel scared and alone with this entire situation. It is frustrating and hard to deal with. I have come to know a lot of great people on here who have been nothing but supportive and caring. I read every comment and go back and read them again with the load gets too heavy to carry. I can't tell you how much each and every comment means to me and to know I am not alone in this battle. Thanks again!
    deanokat likes this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Peace and hugs, @L_B. :)
  9. SunnySkies

    SunnySkies Active Contributor

    It's alright @L_B. You had a lot of emotions and worries to express, and you released much of them over here. This is partly what this community is all about, learning and helping each other on drug abuse and recovery.
  10. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I don't see anything wrong with expressing yourself on this forum. This online community is created to let people share their thoughts, and experiences to one another in the first place. You don't really have to apologize for telling us what's going on with your life now. We're here to support, and motivate you.
    deanokat and MyDigitalpoint like this.
  11. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I couldn't agree more with @dyanmarie25!

    This forum is made to speak out your mind, brag or share whatever people wants to, so no need to apologize ever, and always welcome to do it as many times as you feel such inner need.
    deanokat likes this.
  12. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I appreciate all and comments and support. Getting through the holidays is my main concern right now. We will see what the new year brings.
    deanokat and MyDigitalpoint like this.
  13. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    L_B, L_B, L_B, I have missed so much and I am saddened you've had so much to deal with during the period I've been absent. Whatever happens, you ought to know that we are here to help even if all we do is listen to you 'rant' according to you. Personally, I don't see it as ranting but see it more about you venting or really using this platform to talk to your friends about what's going on in your life.

    I quietly wondered how you were coping as I knew in my heart the deep love you have for him. This is going to get easier is all I can say right now and time is still the greatest healer. I now have some catching up to do with what has been happening but I trust you to do the right thing by you no matter how difficult it might be. I wish I knew how to communicate to him what a treasure he has or had (depending out the outcome) in you.
    deanokat likes this.
  14. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Thanks everybody but I have pretty much just given up. I can't keep hanging on when he doesn't care. He lies and even when I have the proof he lies more. I can't do it now more.
  15. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Don't worry, no one is is judging you, you can rest assured knowing that at least. You can come here and rant as much as you want, we will do our best to help you or listen to you if that is what you need. I think you are doing a lot progress now, because you have finally accepted there is nothing you can do... all you can do now is just wait and hope for the best.
    deanokat likes this.
  16. ellyjude

    ellyjude Active Contributor

    You need not to apologize. What was this forum created for anyway? If people do not have problems to be solved then we would not have been here commenting. You simply raised an alarm and everybody willing should respond. Second, you can still control the situation if you are very sure that your husband loves you. There is a power in every one and that is the power to convince. Hope you have heard of the adage,'if you can't convince them, confuse them'. Keep that in mind and you will have the situation under your control.
    deanokat likes this.
  17. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    Ever since I joined this forum I had learned a lot of things from those who are struggling with addiction and from those who had a love one, family members and friends who are into addiction. And even though I am not into addiction I am always inspired by their own stories that is why I am also inspired in giving good insights and advice to the best that I can in order to help those who are going through this pains and struggles in their life. That is why you don't have to apologize to all of us in this forum because this is a friendly community of caring, supportive and non judgemental people.
    deanokat likes this.
  18. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    That is one reason why people join forums, to express their feelings may it be in a rant form or telling a story as long as you followed the forum rules. :)
    I think no need to apologize as we are not required to read your posts and reply if we do not want to. Solving your own problems should be your priority and nice to be able to help others as well.
    deanokat likes this.
  19. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @L_B... I'm sorry to hear that your husband just keeps using and lying. That's not good. He obviously isn't ready to change. Maybe you just need to walk away, at least for a good period of time. Maybe that would help him see the light? Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. And remember that you can rant here anytime. We're here for you, my friend.
  20. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I agree I don't think he is ready or wants to change. He loves getting high and messed up. It is the life that he chooses. I don't have to live this way. I left and I came back because of his health issues. I didn't do him any favour by coming back. He hasn't changes and he doesn't want to. I am thinking it is time to go and try to help him from a distance. As much as I love him I can't continue to live with his lies.