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i can no linger deny i am addicted to amphetamines

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Joshstillclean, Apr 15, 2020.

  1. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    so this belongs in its own thread. i used many excuses to continue to use prescrption amphetamines. yes i really have a scrpit. but put my needle fixation with those pills and its become a disaster. im holding together but i cannot keep this up. im even taking small amounts before bed so the cravings dont keep me awake. yep-its the devils drug.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    When I get done crying I will respond.I WARNED EVERYONE,I BEGGED YOU...I NEED A MIN
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I am not judging,not my job..please wait
  4. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    yes you did. i have no excuses nor am i looking for any. but i said it. now i can cofront it.
  5. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    you warned and warned. as usual, i did a drug and it felt good.
    True concern likes this.
  6. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    until it feels bad anyway
    True concern likes this.
  7. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Because I love you and he drives me...READ AGAIN!!!


    This is my story of addiction.I was born in the early 80's at the age of six year's old i was diagnosed with A.D.H.D.at that time there was a new F.D.A.approved drug by the name of Ritalin.At first it seemed to be a miracle pill,I was on this pill until the age of 18 at that time i decided i was no longer going to take this pill and it began just under a year passed and someone said "Have you ever tried crystal"which i had not at that time but i tried it and instantly noticed that it was 100% the same effect i got from Ritalin only difference was it lasted longer,or seemed to but honestly it was probably the quantity i was doing was greater than that of Ritalin i struggled with meth on and off for roughly 20 year's,not only meth but i was as well consuming 750ml of Jack Daniel's a day plus a 12 pack of beer.For those who don't know when you mix the two you don't appear to get drunk which is very deadly because infact you do get drunk however you don't realise it until it's too late meaning alcohol poisoning.I experienced this a few times and actually died on a hospital bed due to this fact,it took 3 hits with a defibrillator to restart my heart and i was told the only reason I was hit 3 times was because i was only 19 year's old,but usually after the second time if your heart doesn't restart you are then pronounced dead,but a nurse pleaded with the Dr.to try one more time and he did and my heart started back up.I didn't know at the time but that nurse was actually the mother of the lead singer of Sublime who just lost her son to a heroin overdose.I am forever grateful for that nurse without her plea i would be another statistic.Unfortunately I didn't quite using drug's at that time i just traded substances.I started abusing pain pills heavily and increased that addiction to catastrophic proportions,it got so bad i started injecting heroin which i quickly traded for oxycontin because it was much stronger than heroin.I abused fentanyl as well but nothing compared to the oxycontin.At my worst i was injecting 240-320mg's of oxycontin a day,feeling i wouldn't survive another month i decided to seek help.I'm poor and i come from poor parent's so my options were limited,i ended up at a methadone clinic for help slowly decreasing my extremely high tolerance.At the clinic i had an interview with a drug addiction counselor and an addiction physician,i was hoping for good news but what i heard shock me to my core.I was told by both the same thing,"Sir we are sorry to tell you but your addiction and tolerance is beyond the point of return,whether you quit or continue either way you cannot survive you have if your lucky a month to live"My heart sank and i decided at that moment if i was going to die i would die trying.I went home and prayed and then i called my wife into the room to tell her the news.At that moment i apologized to her told her how much she meant to me and made her promise if i didn't make it she would move on re marry and live a happy life and she noded yes.After that i quite cold turkey and suffered pain and sickness i cannot describe,for 27 straight day's i did not leave the bedroom,i did not eat,i did not sleep,i hallucinated,i screamed in intense unimaginable pain,i lost over 50 pound's in that time frame and had to be rushed to the hospital 3 time's where they would rehydrate me and try to give me pain shots to stall the detox which i refused.On day 28 I took my first steps after i quite and by the grace of God i survived and this May im married 18 year's to my beautiful wife and guardian angel.This is the first time I've shared my story of addiction and i did it for one reason alone,i want everyone to know i understand what you are going through and no matter how bad it gets there is hope.I'm here for each and everyone of you,if you ever need someone to talk to,if you ever feel no one understands im all ears and i do understand.Stay Strong We're rooting for you
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I will never judge but as you're head goes just beneath the water I am the arm you grab not because it's me but because I was told to be there... HEAR OUR FATHER...I BEG YOU HEAR JESUS CHRIST
  9. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I love you @Joshstillclean and there is no one here not even the admin WILL_ CAN FIND A NEGATIVE WORD I EVER SPOKE OF YOU...PLEASE TRUST MY SINCERITY
  10. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    oh i do. im super covicted over this. i dont want to have His grace bring me this far to die from this. or loose an arm...if my experience has taught me anything i just gotta bite the bullet and quit now. i know it will only get harder.
    True concern likes this.
  11. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    YOU ARE MY BROTHER TILL WE EXHAUST..THATS MY PROMISE TO YOU
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  12. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    i know
  13. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Brother enhanced mental ability.. ritalin,adderalk,concerta,NOT WORTH YOU'RE SOUL
  14. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    i am connecting the dots to witchcraft, of which you KNOW i want no part. in fact i just capped tonights syringe. full disclosure
  15. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    There isn't many people I would die for . Last names only (Head,Wolf, Mcbeath,Thomas,and my own)THAT'S IT
  16. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    FUK WITCHES TO SCARED TO STAND ON 2 FEET...PUNKS
  17. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    When I fight I spit blood,not lightning bitchass witches
  18. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Unless you show me you're heart
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  19. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    their time is short and they now it. ill talk to the doctor tomorrow about that vein and get in earlier and ive gotta sleep, but again. Thanks. Your words mean more than this keyboard can convey.
  20. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Check inbox before sign off
    Joshstillclean likes this.