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i don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by christina, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. christina

    christina Member

    i know someone who is using cocaine, lets name that someone X. X sees me as someone that needs to be protected, so i know i can't approach them. I think X doesn't use it for more than once a week at most, sometimes once every 2 weeks.. is that considered addiction? i don't know what to do i'm afraid that if I face X it would just make things worse. I know they would. how can i help that someone? do u think i should face X?
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @christina hello and welcome. thanks for reaching out. it's tough to say for sure. if it were me, i would approach any loved one who i thought was struggling. not to judge or condemn, but to have a real heart to heart with my concern...or just to offer support. it's up to X what he or she wants to cannot really do anything to fix him or cause him to want to stop... you can express your concern and simply accept him where he is on his journey.

    if you do bring it up, and he's like "well, i dont' do it that much..." or "get out of my face. it's my business"... then respect his decision. he may be addicted... he may not be. it's tough to know. but letting him know you care about him...and just having an honest conversation seems like it should be a good thing. at the same time, some people get defensive....and may feel shame. so it's delicate.

    i cannot say what to do.... sit with it. i think the way you would approach it (without expectations)... is important.

    does this make sense?
    deanokat likes this.
  3. christina

    christina Member

    yeah it totally does make sense, but to explain what i mean, i'm usually like u, one that can't stay silent if i know something that might hurt X, i always approach them about it trying to explain and i usually get the " u don't know anything.. it's non of your business.. get out of my face" ALWAYS since that person can't accept that this little girl who's always been protected by them, thinks she knows better.. I'm afraid for a bad reaction for X not for me.. i don't mind getting yelled at or anything if it means X will stop.. but for the first time i'm thinking before speaking and feel like this time if i talk to X it will just make things worse .. do u get it? Thank u so much for answering
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @christina hey! i do get it, and i'm glad that you are thinking before speaking... that certainly helps! it sounds like you're going with your gut feeling, which may be wise. i do hope X recognizes the issues going on, and reaches out for help.

    sending hug.