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I don’t know what to do

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Hurtwife08, Feb 19, 2020.

  1. Hurtwife08

    Hurtwife08 Member

    My spouse is addicted to meth.... he recently got out of prison and I thought he had been sober up until 2 weeks ago... I knew he was high , I asked him and he was actually honest with me .... in his words he’s a “functioning addict” .... we have an 11 yr old together and I’m currently 6 months pregnant .... I’ve told him I can’t be with him if he continues to use . He says he doesn’t do it then it changes to not that often .... he’s constantly lying to me ... hes never home .... I’m just lost ... I feel like my life has been consumed by this ... all I’m thinking about his him and if he’s gonna get high today ? Is he gonna come home ? How can help him ? I don’t know what to do ... I’m tired of crying I don’t want to leave cause of our 11 yr old and the fact that I want to help him and I love him .... I want my family back before the addiction started but I feel like he doesn’t care ... ive given him an ultimatum and he just came home last night at 3 am high ..... my heart is broken not only for me but for my kids ... I feel like giving up on him and moving out of city with my family... any advice would be great ... I need help
    Davers and Onceaddicted77 like this.
  2. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    Honestly you should give up on him for now. Let go with love. What happens when we continue to allow them to act that way is it enables them. We addicts will never change unless our circumstances become over whelming negative for us enough to change. If we can get away with it we will.

    I would look for some support groups that teach you how to deal with addicts it's called Nar-anon family groups it's for narcotics abuse of loved ones. I feel for you and your struggle I'm a addict myself and i know what it does to family its not fair to you or your kids.

    May god bless you and give you strength and direction.
    Hurtwife08, Davers and True concern like this.
  3. Davers

    Davers Community Champion

    My first thought , is he is super selfish , 'sounds' like he don't want to quit .
    How long was he away in "Promise" land ?

    Sounds like he cares nothing about you or yr child's future.

    Yes there are 3 sides to every story but going by what I have read "He" is the But Hole .

    He has to want to change , I got a friend who's Son is a poly addict 'He is like me he can not drink ' but also loves Meth / The needle he is a little over 30 a smart Man cool & I can have an intellectual conversation with him ( I'm finding that rare these days ) in the people i'm around.
    I'm really worried about him .

    Sorry back to yr situation , with the info I read , "I'd " likely stop all ultimatums & state "Make your choice"
    BUT
    If you are dependent on him for $ a place to live ; that's a serious 'Knuckle Ball' thrown into yr mix .

    You can over come have faith in yourself .
    Much Compassion & Much Strength to you and yours .
    Davers
    Hurtwife08 likes this.
  4. Hurtwife08

    Hurtwife08 Member

    Thank you ... it’s funny you said if we can get away with it we will .... I asked him how often he uses and his exact words were, when I know I can get away with it ... I don’t know anyone who was a former meth addict so I feel like I can’t take anyone’s advice that hasn’t gone thru it as an addict or family member .... thank you again for replying I really appreciate it
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  5. Hurtwife08

    Hurtwife08 Member

    2 years and yea he tells me he doesn’t want to do it ... I guess he can’t stop ... idk but yea him putting us thru this is super selfish and the fact that I’m pregnant ... wish I would’ve seen or known sooner that he relapsed... we both work so I’m not dependent on him for money (thank god) and I can pay the house myself if I need to ... we just been together so long since high school. I feel so stupid cause it took me a couple of years to know that he was even using! It’s hard because I love him, my 11 yr old wants his dad at home and idk how to explain to my son why I’m putting his dad out .... anyways thank you for responding ❤️
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  6. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @Hurtwife08 this one is hard for me to respond to because I had a needle full of meth in my arm for probably 2-3 different 3-4 year stints. It's A greedy drug,very deceptive, it makes reality all disillusion...it seems impossible to stop once it has you but sooner or later a person must let this one go because it will kidnap your soul and you will lose all resemblance of who you truly are...sadly I know I've been there and I still feel guilt for what the drug turned me into,(Trust no one,accuse everyone,steal everything, disappear for day's doing God only knows what),etc,etc it truly is the most destructive drug I've ever done.it took my wife,kids,grandkids,stability, self esteem,self confidence, any pride I had,just literally destroyed me.I pray you see you HAVE TO do what's best for you and your kid's period,sad or not the environment is toxic and you need to change the atmosphere before your 11 year old picks up some really bad habits going into his teen years.Stay Strong and God Bless you All
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.