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I don't want to type this but I must

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by True concern, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Ok I'm not drinking anymore, just ate dinner, life is great
  2. givingback213

    givingback213 Member

    Good job. That was a hell of a conversation.
  3. commongoal123

    commongoal123 Member


    I'm new here and came across your thread and am reading through it. I am in no way an expert or "cured", but one thing that is jumping out to me here is your above "what if" statement.

    I have anxiety (I think we all do) regarding many things... some things trigger it more intensely than others. Regardless of the severity, anytime I am making a statement to myself with the words "what if" in them, I try to immediately identify it as anxiety... and then I try to identify if this "what if" anxiety is being helpful or not to me.

    Anxiety is one of the mind's many defense mechanisms, but is one which has also been hijacked by today's world (drugs, alcohol, social media, social pressure, the news, etc, etc, etc). Anxiety evolved within us over hundreds of thousands of years for us to keep ourselves from being killed or eaten (fight or flight). Without anxiety, our ancestors probably wouldn't have made it... and once the truly dangerous event (like a predator preying on you) was over, the anxiety was over as well. But today's world triggers it in both helpful and unhelpful ways.... and the unhelpful ways don't "end" such as the example of a predator giving up the chase.

    For example... wanting to drink or use a drug and having the thought "what if I black out again/get hungover again/miss work again/never stop again/etc" is very helpful because the anxiety is giving me a very real warning and a motivation to NOT DO IT. Easier said than done, I know... but that is why the anxiety is happening in this case. To protect us.

    Another example is your above statement. Ask yourself if the above statement is helping you in some way? If it isn't, then let it go and label it as unhelpful anxiety triggering overthinking. And we all know what happens when overthinking happens....

    Identifying the difference between the two ways anxiety manifests has helped me a lot.

    I once heard someone say "Anxiety is fear that hasn't happened yet". While not 100% applicable to everything I just wrote above, maybe you will find some value in that statement for yourself. I like to use that statement when it comes to the unhelpful and bad anxiety which influences me in negative ways.

    Finally.... it is the little victories. Don't beat yourself up too badly for drinking when you bagged 4 out of 5 recoveries. Sure relapse can happen. And if it does, you know you can get through it again because you already did. It is great to have the motivation to stop the booze completely, but when you slip up regarding that don't beat the **** out of yourself over it and try and forgive yourself and focus on your accomplishments.

    Peace and Love.
    True concern and Onceaddicted77 like this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Thank you for your response I need to think on this one
    commongoal123 likes this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I have zero doubt that you are correct "Everyone has anxiety"in some form or another...I have to work on mine as I have been running through life like an idiot(in my opinion)Not finding out I am Bi-polar until about 6 month's or so ago really was a deadly curveball,I have finally found a medication that works for me but that's now and it leaves me upset at myself as I recall event's and actions....remembering them now..there is no way I would act that way or in some cases no way I would have done certain things the way I did,I would have used a different route to try and find out some thing's or do some thing's or thinking clearly and not letting anger or vengeance dictate how I approach thing's I feel better in the present but everything I messed up in the past still linger's around and I have regret that stacks to the ceiling that can't be erased or done over again. I realize in life we must let go at time's we don't want to,I realize we have to keep living even when a disorder we were unaware of made as act in ways that destroyed relationship's and so on,but it doesn't make the hurt go away.I am a complex person who doesn't always do thing's the "conventional"way...All though now....Thinking clearly I believe I would take the conventional route over some crazy idea I came up with on my own because in the end no one would understand my unconventional route except me anyways even though the end result was supposed to be the same,I have learned just because they take me to the same place in theory the actual result is far different than I envisioned it in many case's and knowing I can't undo....Anxiety producing on a mass scale.Anyways I have not drank since I started my new meds, I have no desire to.I just take my prescribed meds now and I'm working on lowering the dose on everything EXCEPT my Bi-polar meds,I actually think they could be increased some as I still have a bit of back and fourth happening but I'm doing everything I can to get completely stable and what a fight it's been,but no one every said life was going to be easy so I learn as I go and hope and pray for the best.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.